Now Carpenter Smith was young, steady and still,
And wherever he went, worked and played with a will:
To bed he went early, and early did rise;
So, of course, he was healthy, and wealthy, and wise.
But John he grew tired of a bachelor's life,
So he looked all around him in search of a wife;
And his eyes, as they wandered, again and again
Returned to Eliza and Emily Jane.
And whenever those maidens encountered his eye,
Their pulses beat quickly (perhaps you know why);
They each of them thought him a wonderful Don,
And wished to be married to Carpenter John.
But John, as you've heard, was a prudent young man;
And determined their faults and their merits to scan;
Says he, "If I marry, I'm tied for my life;
"So it's well to be cautious in choosing a wife."
Now I'm sorry to say that young Emily Jane
Was disposed to be rather conceited and vain;
In fact, for the truth I'm obliged to confess,
Was decidedly fond of extravagant dress.
So she thought the best way to the Carpenter's heart
Was to purchase gay dresses and finery smart;
In the carrier's van off to Bedford she went,
And many weeks' wages in finery spent.
Her dress it was blue, and her ribbons were green,
And her chignon the highest that ever was seen,
And perched on the top, heavy-laden with flowers,
Was a bonnet, embosomed in beautiful bowers.
So red, as she walked to the Church, was her shawl
That the bull in the farm-yard did bellow and bawl;
And so high were her heels that on entering the door
She slipped, and she stumbled, and fell on the floor.
Says Carpenter Smith, "It's decidedly plain
"That I'd better keep clear of that Emily Jane:"
So from Emily Jane he averted his eye,
And just at that moment Eliza passed by.
Now Eliza had thought, "If his heart I subdue,
"It shall not be by dresses and finery new:
"For a lover who's taken by ornaments gay
"Will love some one else ere a week pass away."