Once I believed it might have come to pass
With a small cost of blood; but I was dreaming —
Dreaming that I believed. The Voice I heard
When I left you behind me in the north, —
To wait there and to wonder and grow old
Of loneliness, — told only what was best,
And with a saving vagueness, I should know
Till I knew more. And had I known even then —
After grim years of search and suffering,
So many of them to end as they began —
After my sickening doubts and estimations
Of plans abandoned and of new plans vain —
After a weary delving everywhere
For men with every virtue but the Vision —
Could I have known, I say, before I left you
That summer morning, all there was to know —
Even unto the last consuming word
That would have blasted every mortal answer
As lightning would annihilate a leaf,
I might have trembled on that summer morning;
I might have wavered; and I might have failed.
And there are many among men today
To say of me that I had best have wavered.
So has it been, so shall it always be,
For those of us who give ourselves to die
Before we are so parcelled and approved
As to be slaughtered by authority.
We do not make so much of what they say
As they of what our folly says of us;
They give us hardly time enough for that,
And thereby we gain much by losing little.
Few are alive to-day with less to lose
Than I who tell you this, or more to gain;
And whether I speak as one to be destroyed
For no good end outside his own destruction,
Time shall have more to say than men shall hear
Between now and the coming of that harvest
Which is to come. Before it comes, I go —
By the short road that mystery makes long
For man's endurance of accomplishment.
I shall have more to say when I am dead.
The False Gods
"We are false and evanescent, and aware of our deceit,
From the straw that is our vitals to the clay that is our feet.
You may serve us if you must, and you shall have your wage of ashes, —
Though arrears due thereafter may be hard for you to meet.
"You may swear that we are solid, you may say that we are strong,
But we know that we are neither and we say that you are wrong;
You may find an easy worship in acclaiming our indulgence,
But your large admiration of us now is not for long.
"If your doom is to adore us with a doubt that's never still,
And you pray to see our faces — pray in earnest, and you will.
You may gaze at us and live, and live assured of our confusion:
For the False Gods are mortal, and are made for you to kill.
"And you may as well observe, while apprehensively at ease
With an Art that's inorganic and is anything you please,
That anon your newest ruin may lie crumbling unregarded,
Like an old shrine forgotten in a forest of new trees.
"Howsoever like no other be the mode you may employ,
There's an order in the ages for the ages to enjoy;
Though the temples you are shaping and the passions you are singing
Are a long way from Athens and a longer way from Troy.
"When we promise more than ever of what never shall arrive,
And you seem a little more than ordinarily alive,
Make a note that you are sure you understand our obligations —
For there's grief always auditing where two and two are five.
"There was this for us to say and there was this for you to know,
Though it humbles and it hurts us when we have to tell you so.
If you doubt the only truth in all our perjured composition,
May the True Gods attend you and forget us when we go."