The contents of the little basket used to discover the will of the higher powers are chewed just as other pinang and sireh, and the marriage ceremony is over; the young couple are lawfully man and wife.
The married couple stay for three days in the house which is to be their future home. On the fourth day a visit is paid, lasting for three days, to the family with whom the alliance has been made. Then the young couple return to settle down in their new home.
A Dyak Wedding
The bride is seated in the middle with a large filigree silver comb in her hair. The bridegroom is seated on her right, and her mother on her left. The old man on the right is the “Master of Ceremonies.” Before him, covered with a native cloth, is the basket containing the pieces of split betel-nut, which are examined to see if the marriage will be a happy one.
On the occasion of the first visit of the bride to the house of her husband, she must not enter her mother-in-law’s room, but must be led in either by that much dreaded relative herself, or by some woman deputed by her to perform that office. The bride, therefore, goes into the room of some female friend living in the house, and there awaits the coming of her mother-in-law; the husband meanwhile sits down on a mat in the open veranda outside his mother’s room.
The lady, having ascertained the whereabouts of her daughter-in-law, goes and fetches her, and brings her into the room. She bids her sit down on a mat spread for the purpose. Then she goes out to her son in the veranda, and leads him in, and tells him to sit by his wife’s side. When they are seated side by side, the mother waves a live fowl over her son and daughter-in-law with a hastily muttered invocation for future health and prosperity.
The respect that Dyaks are required to pay to the father-in-law and mother-in-law is far greater than they have to pay to their own parents.
It is considered a terrible crime for a man to mention the names of his wife’s parents, and he dare not disobey their commands. A young man marrying an only child and living with her parents has generally a hard time of it, because he has to give way in everything to the wishes of his wife’s parents. In the same way a girl who marries an only son, and lives with his parents, has often an unhappy time, being continually ordered about and scolded by her mother-in-law. I have known cases where husband and wife have separated simply because the mother-in-law has made the life of the wife unbearable.
For the wedding, and for the subsequent visit which the bride pays to her husband’s home, she decks herself out in all the finery she possesses or can borrow from her friends. Her wedding-dress consists of a short petticoat of Dyak woven cloth which reaches to her knees. Along the bottom edge of this there are sewed several rows of tinsel and of silver coins, below which probably hang some rows of hawk-bells, which make a tinkling sound as she moves. Round her waist are several coils of brass or silver chain, and two or three belts made of dollars or other silver coins linked together.