WANTED.—An actor who can look like a gentleman in good health before a critical audience of 250,000. Apply in person, without press notices.
H. R.
Allied Arts Bldg.
It was rather late in the evening when he sent for Max Onthemaker, but this only served to strengthen the learned counsel's high opinion of H. R. When H. R. told him what he proposed to do Max jumped in the air for joy. Then he sat down limply. It suddenly occurred to him that H. R. was far too intelligent. This is fatal to the right kind of newspaper publicity. But H. R. soothed him and dispelled Max's doubts by showing him exactly how to become an efficient and altogether legal agent provocateur. The legal mind always concerns itself over the particular paragraph. It comes from numbering the statutes. Max worked till dawn on his papers and arguments.
On the next morning H. R. selected, out of several dozen applicants, four actors who looked really distinguished. The others walked away cursing the trust. They are never original, as a class, by reason of their habit of also reading the press notices of their colleagues.
H. R. told the lucky four that he would give them the hardest part of their lives.
They looked at him pityingly.
He then guaranteed to get their pictures in all the papers.
They looked blasé.
He began to speak to them about fame and about money, and then about money and fame—the power to go into any restaurant and cause an instant cessation of all mastication, or walk into any manager's office and be entreated to sign, at any price, only sign—sign at once!
They accepted on the spot, and asked when the engagement began. In their eagerness to be artists they forgot to ask the salary.