“I couldn't help sending you what you asked me for. The moment you asked I had to send it, my son. But my salvation lay in realizing my helplessness. I kept close tabs on you at college through friends you could not suspect, and because the reports were not alarming I did not disturb you. I merely fought against my desire to give you more than you asked for, to give you what I could easily afford to give you, what would have given me pleasure to do by giving pleasure to you. I fought that desire—and wrote to you about your studies and never mentioned money, for I did not wish to lie to you. Do you know why, after you were twelve, you didn't spend your vacation with me? Because I knew that if you did I could never let you go away from me, and I knew you must go back to the school your mother had picked out for you. I wanted to give you tutors, to keep you at home; and that would not have been good for you and I should have broken my promise. I knew if I let myself go I'd be lost forever.”
Mr. Leigh's lips, which he tried to compress, were quivering. Then he tried to smile, reassuringly, to convince his son that he had not let himself go after all.
The old man drew in a deep breath and said, with a pitiful attempt at playfulness: “That is why I called you Thomas, always Thomas. Now that you are a man you are Thomas. But you never will know how Thomas sounded to me when you were ten! When I heard other people call you Tommy I envied them, for I didn't dare! I didn't dare!”
Tommy irrepressibly rose from his chair and stood beside his father, who thereupon rose. And Tommy threw his arms about his father, as a boy does when he seeks the comfort of his mother's love.
“Dad! Dad! Poor dad!”
“Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!” muttered Mr. Leigh, brokenly. “You are a man now and I can't spoil you by calling you Tommy! I can't can I? My son! Oh, my son, Tommy!”
“You can call me anything you please,” said Tommy, brokenly, “so long as you call me your son.” Tommy was patting the old man's heaving shoulders protectingly. “It's all right, dad.” Then Tommy, he knew not why, said: “Call me anything, father! You don't know how much I love you!”
“Let us be men, my son,” said Mr. Leigh, disengaging Tommy's arms from about his neck. “Sit down and let us finish our business.”
Mr. Leigh sat down. His hands were trembling, and his face was wet with tears.
“Daddy, you must not lose your grip like that. It's all right,” said Tommy, brokenly, unaware that his own face was wet.