Your boy and his training

by Edwin Seward Puller

THIS VOLUME IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED TO
THE MEN OF TOMORROW, WITH THE HOPE THAT THE
THOUGHTS EXPRESSED IN THESE PAGES WILL AID
THEIR PARENTS AND TEACHERS, IN SOME DEGREE, TO
A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF BOY-NATURE AND
BOY-TRAINING.

PREFACE

The average boy is not understood by the average parent. This misunderstanding produces not only indifferent training of the boy but also soul-stress for the parent and his son. Intelligent training will improve the quality of the man into whom your son will develop. To be able to give such training, the parent must first know how. The education of the parent in the subject of boy-training is the pretentious purpose of this volume, which I approach with full consciousness of my own limitations.

This book is the result of my association with and study of large numbers of boys from ten to twenty years of age, and in it have been embodied, consciously or unconsciously, some ideas of other writers on this subject.

I have endeavored to present in elementary form a brief, practical study in adolescent psychology and its application to boy-training, written in language which the average parent, guardian or teacher can readily understand. With this end in view, there has been an elimination of technical terms, as far as may be—even at possible risk of scientific inaccuracy of statement. It will not be necessary for the average reader to peruse these pages with a dictionary at hand. They were written not for psychologists, but for parents, in the hope that a work both readable and comprehensible will acquaint the average reader with the laws governing boy-life and their application to his training with greater clarity than a work abounding in abstruse phraseology and scientific nomenclature.

The pages which follow will be devoted to a discussion of the problems of the normal boy—the same red-blooded, harum-scarum youngster who occupies such a large place in your life—and not especially to the delinquent boy. I indulge the hope that this volume may aid you, in some degree, to a better understanding of your boy, his problems and their solution.

Edwin Puller.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER	PAGE
I.	The Eternal Boy-problem	[ 1]
	Boy-problems are as universal as boys—Boystoo often regarded as necessary evils—Necessityfor training—How to studythe boy—Tendencies in present-day educationof children—Character-cultureshould come first—The home is the placeand the parent the agency—Boys moredifficult to train than girls—The boy’sviewpoint—Parental indifference to boy-training—Eachboy is an individualproblem.
II.	Parental Responsibility	[ 15]
	Causes of waywardness—Wrong trainingand bad environment—Parental ignoranceconcerning boy-training—An instance—Heredity—Accountabilityof the parent—Spendingmoney—Laxity of discipline—Averageparent not fully equipped forhis job.
III.	Child Psychology	[ 30]
	Table of psychic characteristics at severalages—Infancy and imagination—Earlyboyhood and individualism—Early adolescenceand hero-worship—Later adolescenceand thoughtful mental attitude—Agewhen puberty occurs—Period ofmotor activity.
IV.	Adolescent Psychology	[ 52]
	Adolescence the period of storm and stress—Changefrom childhood to manhood—Puberty—Physicalindicia—Mental indicia—Psychicdisturbances—Truancyand wanderlust—Lack of continuity ofpurpose and action—Proximity to the savagestate—Humor—Sex-consciousnessand its manifestations—Love affairs—Plasticityof mind—Will-power appears—Ageof discretion—Cycles of susceptibilityto religious influences—Age of experimentation—Hero-worshipand its manifestations—Object of hero-worship—Gratitudelacking—Reflective period—Introspection—Senseof perspective isdistorted—Visionary ambitions—Dislikeof older boy for younger—Will-power,mental and moral stature attained.
V.	The Boy’s Viewpoint	[ 80]
	Difference of viewpoint at differingpsychic ages—Youth and age contrasted—Theboy’s desire for physical expression—Inabilityfor sustained mental orphysical effort—Adult must put himselfin boy’s place to understand him—Thenatural adult leader of boys—Boy lives inthe present—Parent must do child’sthinking for him—Injustice to boy fromfailure to consider his standards.
VI.	Obedience	[ 92]
	The cornerstone of child-training—Children’sattitude toward parents—Its causesand effects—Character is predicated onobedience—Parental prohibitions whichcause disobedience—Habit of obedienceformed most easily in early childhood—Howobedience may be cultivated—Commandsmust be founded on justice andreason—Disobedience results from parentalcaprice or injustice—Illustrations—Therational quality in the boy—Importanceof paternal example.
VII.	The Repressive Method of Training	[ 104]
	Age when training should begin—Repressivemethod is negative—Illustrationsof repressive commands—Their effect onthe boy—The play spirit in the young—Afactor in mental and moral growth—Thepassive system of training—Evils oflavish supply of money—Effects of repressionare depressing—Acts should notbe prohibited without suggestion of otheracts to fill the void created—Mental inspirationof praise.
VIII.	The Suggestive Method of Training	[ 117]
	Necessity for formulating definite planof training—Impossible to state a simplerule—American habit of drifting out oftouch with offspring—Duty of fathers tocontinue intimacy with sons through adolescence—Americanchildren not generallywell bred—English, German, Frenchand Japanese methods contrasted—Suggestionis informative and inspirational—Negativecommands produce mentalhostility and will combat—Illustrationsof effect of suggestion—A father’s plan—Thebig brother comradeship of fatherand son.
IX.	The Habit of Falsehood	[ 132]
	Imagination a characteristic of childhood—Fantasyas real to childhood as reality—Thecause of lies—Illustrations—Thefisherman’s lie—Clarity of mental processeslargely determines whether a statementis a lie or an untruth—The lie ofthe older boy—Desire to avoid punishmentthe chief cause of falsehood—Theremedy for falsehood—Moral suasion, itsdefinition and application.
X.	Corporal Punishment	[ 143]
	The place occupied by corporal punishmentas a corrective measure—Reasonsadvanced for its use—Illustration from abanker’s experience—Average child doesnot rebel against authority—But onlyagainst authority unjustly or harshly exercised—Theboy’s view of corporal punishment—Breakingthe boy’s will—Unjustor excessive punishments conduce tolying—Effect of nagging on children—Mentalversus physical punishment—Effectivesubstitutes for corporal punishment.
XI.	The Cigarette Habit	[ 157]
	Effect of nicotine on human organism—Aphysician’s opinion—Tobacco and theadult—Age when boys acquire the habit—Effectsof tobacco on adolescents—Opinionof Dr. Seaver based on physicalmeasurements of smokers and non-smokers—Cigarettemost pernicious form oftobacco—Influences which actuate boys toacquire the habit—Poisons in the cigarette—Acroleinand carbonic oxide—Moraleffects—Juvenile criminals are generallycigarette fiends—Methods used todissuade boys from beginning—Suggestionof a remedy for those who have contractedthe habit.
XII.	Boy Gangs	[ 173]
	Gregarious instinct in boys—Craving forassociation with their own kind—Twokinds of boy gangs—The supervisedgang—The unsupervised gang—Illustrationsof each—The gang leader and hisqualifications—The necessity for a meetingplace—Morals of unsupervised gangalways lower than morals of its individualconstituents—Motives for gang activities—Theircode of honor—Street gangs aretraining schools for delinquents—Gangspirit inherent in all boy-nature—Supervisedgangs and their influence on characterdevelopment—Necessity for urgingboy to join good gang.
XIII.	The Boy Scout Influence	[ 183]
	The magic of the name Scout—The BoyScouts of America—What the movementis—Ranks and requirements—Good turnsand illustrations—Appeal of uniform andhikes to boy before joining—Purpose oforganization is character-building—Aformer method of teaching ethics—Scoutcamps and hikes—The camp-fire tale asa means of training—The qualities whichScout associations develop—Boy Scoutorganization founded on sound psychology—Adenatured gang—Opinions ofsociologists—The universality of its appealto boyhood—An efficient method oftraining boys in mass—It keeps the boybusy—The busy boy is the best boy—Afield of social service for the adult.
XIV.	Juvenile Reading	[ 206]
	Potent influence of books on the boy—Nextto environment and companions—Two-foldvalue of literature—Desire ofboy for something to read—He readsfor entertainment; studies because compelledto—Reading must be suited to mentaland psychological requirements—Fairytales—Adventure tales—Informativebooks—Dime novel and nickel library—Theireffect on morals and literary taste—Thebad book in the outward dress ofgood fiction—The psychological requirementfor thrilling adventure tales—ComicSunday supplements—Ideal companionsfor boys found in best books—Doses ofliterature as remedies for diseases ofcharacter—Stories of animal life—Thejuvenile magazine—A list of books usefulfor outlining a course of juvenile reading.
XV.	Agencies for Sex-instruction	[ 227]
	Importance of accurate sex knowledge—Misinformationacquired at a very earlyage—Necessity for scientific instruction—Formerantipathy to discussion—Parentis natural teacher of sex—Neglect ofparental duty—Necessity for other agenciesof instruction—Grammar schools,high schools, colleges, etc.—Danger ofpremature sex excitation—Individualswho are best adapted to teach—Teacher,physician, biologist, special lecturer—Opinionsfor and against the school asagency for sex-instruction.
XVI.	On Outline of Sex-instruction	[ 238]
	Periods in child’s life when instructionshould be given—Instruction should besuited to his psychological requirements—Mothershould begin instruction—Methodknown as the biological approach—Natureand amount of instruction necessary—Fathershould assume instruction atpuberty—Necessary admonitions—Influenceof theatrical productions with a sex-appeal—Musicalcomedies, burlesque andvaudeville shows—Sex-hygiene societies—Alist of pamphlets published—A list ofbooks recommended.
XVII.	Children’s Courts	[ 254]
	An instrumentality for reclaiming thewayward boy—The state formerly regardeddelinquent boy as a criminal—Newattitude toward dependent and delinquentchildren—Their mental andmoral concepts not matured—Infractionsof law are manifestations of moral diseasewhich it is the state’s business tocure—Child under sixteen cannot be acriminal—Delinquent child is a ward ofthe state—The Juvenile Court—Methodsof dealing with boys—The probation officer—Lawsfor control of delinquent parents.
XVIII.	Conclusions	[ 270]
	Every boy has inalienable right to be welltrained—Basis of boy-training is parent-training—Insight,tact and patiencenecessary—Boy’s need of father’s companionship—Certainphysical abnormalitiesaffect intellect and character—Effectsof heredity contrasted with environment—Allboys possess a common nature—Summaryof rules bearing on boy-training.

YOUR BOY AND
HIS TRAINING