“Oh, Mr. Smith, you blame me, I know you do, and perhaps I deserve it; but you cannot appreciate my feelings. I did love Ramie devotedly, for he was the noblest and best of earth; but no one knew we were betrothed, and to retire from society now would be only to reveal what he wished kept secret. Besides, I will be candid enough to confess that I find the best cure for a sad heart in a round of pleasure, and, knowing that seclusion and manifested grief were not expected of me, I have sought to drown my sorrow in a whirl of frivolity.”
She paused, and looked at me for some reply, but, as I could make none but what would have offended her, I said nothing.
“I know serious people will blame me for this trifling,” she continued, “but gaiety and pleasure are as much my element as the air I breathe. Those who know me will not cease to love me. And you, who once professed such devotion, now hate me, because I do not wear a widow’s weeds! Please do not desert me when we ought to become better friends; love me still,” and she laid her soft, beautiful hand on mine.
Who could have resisted? A moment before I was despising her heartlessness, now, at the electric touch of her hand, I was changed; the old flame burst forth again with resistless fervor, and I could take her, heartless as she was, to be forever mine, only so that she loved me. I almost crushed her hand in mine as I pressed my lips upon it again and again.
“Love you, Lillian! Heaven only knows how madly, how wildly I do love you. Only say just once that you love me, or bid me hope. I have never ceased to love you, Lillian, but your faith was plighted to another, and I crushed my heart into silence. But he who stood between us is dead, and, as God shall judge me, I have sorrowed sincerely over his grave; but nothing now binds you; you are free to love me if you will. Darling, darling Lillian, come to my heart and be its queen.”
I put forth my arms to draw her to my side, but she drew back and said:
“No, sir, the change is too sudden. A moment ago there was a look of contempt on your face—nay, do not deny it—and now you would have me believe these wild protestations of your phœnix-like love.”
There was a gleam of triumph in her eyes that told me she did believe me, and gloried in her wondrous power, but I was careless of everything save to be lord of her hand and heart.
“Lillian,” I said, gazing into her face with such intense earnestness that even her eyes fell beneath my gaze, “you once believed me; will you doubt me now when I swear to you that I love you as no other man ever dared love you before—that I am willing to give up everything for your sake, even the memory of Ramie? If that stands between our love, I will forget that he ever lived and forget that he ever died.”
I felt a shudder run from her frame into her hand as the harsh words fell from my lips, but ‘twas only a shudder.