Of course I could do nothing but give up the search, though I ceased not to hope she might yet be found and saved.
And now, as the summer wore away, came to me the question of life; not how we were to live, for our income largely exceeded our expenditure, but why. The boyish dreams I had so long cherished, of distinction in the political arena, were now vanished forever; and the practice of law, for which I had studied, under the Provisional Government was little better than a system of pettifogging, that was as undignified as it was profitless.
There was absolutely nothing to do, and the very ennui of existence seemed a terrible evil. So, when Carlotta proposed that we break up here and go to her home in Cuba, I acceded to the proposal with great delight, and, mother consenting to go with us, I began immediately preparations for our departure in the Fall. I could not help feeling some touches of shame and regret in leaving our dear old State in this her darkest hour, and had it not been for the beautiful Cuban home that was awaiting us, I could not have gotten the consent of my mind to go. But I felt, as a private individual, of little benefit to the State at large, and that my first duty was to render those dearest to me happy, and this I thought would be accomplished by the change.
As executor of father’s will, I found very little trouble in settling the estate, there being no debts to pay and few to collect. The real estate in New York I determined to leave in the hands of our agent, in whom we had the utmost confidence, and who had doubly endeared himself to us by his kindness to father while he was in prison. I sold our residence and grounds in Wilmington to a blockade runner who had amassed a large fortune during the war, and was anxious to invest in town property. Early in the fall I went up to the plantation to see Mr. Bemby, and make arrangements for its disposal. Taking the surveyor over from Goldsboro’ I had four hundred acres cut off for Ben, and two hundred for Horace, making them a fee simple title to it; the remaining three thousand acres I turned over to Mr. Bemby, to use the balance of his lifetime without rent. These kind people were profuse and sincere in their regrets at our leaving, and Mr. Bemby protested that he and Ben could make enough on the farm for us all to live in the house and never go out doors where we could see a Yankee. They all followed me up to the road, and I felt, as I shook hands and drove off, that, go where I would, I could never find more faithful hearts than beat beneath their homespun clothes. Ben rode over to Goldsboro’ with me, and when we had gone some distance from the house he drew from his pocket a twenty dollar gold piece and handed it to me, saying:
”I want you to give that to the one it belongs to, if you ever see her.”
”Whose is it?” I asked in some surprise.
”Miss Luler Maylin’s,” he said, putting the coin in my hand.
”Lulie Mayland!” I exclaimed. ”Where is she; where have you seen her; I have been trying to find her ever since I came home.”
”I saw her week b’fore last, right on this road, jus’ above our house.”