Saltfleet, May 31st.—[To his Mother he writes: My dear Mother, I am thankful to say that I am well, and am trying in a weak way to serve the Lord, and persuading as many others to do so as I can. I feel that I am almost destitute of every necessary qualification for so important a work. The Lord has blessed me in a very special manner at many different times. Our prospects are very favourable in some places. Our congregations are generally large, and still increasing. We have twenty-four appointments in four weeks. I have formed some very useful and pious acquaintances since I left home. The Lord seems to be with me, and renders my feeble efforts acceptable in general. My acquaintance seems to be sought by all classes, and I try to improve such advantages in spreading, by my example and conversation, the blessed religion of Christ among all ranks. I have many temptations to contend with, and many trials to weigh me down at times. Some of these arise from a sense of the injustice which I have done to important subjects, on account of my ignorance, which drives me to a throne of grace, and a closer application to my studies. My situation is truly a state of trial, and none but God could support and direct me. And I do feel the comforting and refreshing influence of his divine power at times very sensibly. I am determined, by his assistance, never to rest contented until he not only becomes my wisdom, but my sanctification, and my full redemption. And blessed be the Lord, my dear Mother, I do feel a hope, and a confidence that the same divine power and goodness which supports and comforts you in your ill state of health, and which gives you victory over your trials, and consolation in your distress, will conduct me, too, through this stormy maze, and we shall yet have the blessedness of meeting at our Father's table in Heaven. And God being my helper, my dear Mother, when you have gone home to rest with God, I am determined to pursue the same path, which you have strewn with prayers, with tears, and living faith, until I reach the same blessed port. I hope that you will pray that the Lord would help and save me forever! If I had no other inducement to serve God, and walk in the path of religion, but your comfort, I would try and devote my life to it while I live; but when Heaven's transcendant glory beams forth in prospective view, my soul burns to possess the kingdom, and my heart is enlarged for the salvation of others. I wish you would get George to write immediately, and let me know the state of your mind, and your opinion about my returning home, also his own opinion on that subject.—J. G. H.]
July 2nd.—This week has been a season of trial. I have left my Father's house once more, and arrived on my Circuit.
July 3rd.—Sabbath.—I have preached twice to-day in Niagara for the first time; felt very embarrassed, but my trust was in God, and my prayer to Him for assistance.
July 4th.—This evening I have been distressed in mind on account of leaving my parents. My heart melts within me when I think of my Father's faltering voice, when lying on his bed he said, "Good-bye, Egerton," and reached forth his trembling hand, saying by his countenance that he never expected to see his son a resident in his house again. He laid himself back in his bed in apparent despair, no more to enjoy the society of the child he loved. Oh, my God! is it not too much for humanity? Nature sinks beneath the weight. It is only God that can sustain. May I endure manfully to the end!
July 6th and 7th.—I have been much interested in reading Dr. Coke's discourses, also Wesley's sermons on "The Kingdom of God."
July 9th.—I have crossed the river to the United States to-day for the first time. The manners of the people are not pleasant to me.
July 10th—Sabbath.—The Lord has greatly blessed me this day. I have preached three times. My heart overflowed with love for immortal souls. Many wept, and God's people seemed stirred up to engage afresh in His service. In the evening, I preached to very a wicked congregation, from Matt. xvi. 24. My mind was clear, particularly in argument, but they seemed to be unaffected.
July 14th.—I have been afflicted with illness, but the Lord has comforted me. Again had to mourn over light conversation, still I think I have gained some victory. I am determined to watch and pray until I obtain a triumph over this trying besetment.
July 17th.—I felt so ill this morning that I could not attend my appointment, but recovered so as to preach feebly in the afternoon. The Word seemed to rest with power on the people.
July 21st.—For several days I have been much interested in reading Fletcher's "Portrait of St. Paul." When I compare my actions and feelings with the standard there laid down, I blush on account of my ignorance in the duties and labours connected with my calling. Did the ministers of the Gospel obtain and possess a deeper communion with God? Did they cultivate primitive piety in their lives, and Gospel simplicity in their preaching, surely the power of darkness could not stand before them! How many learned discourses are entirely lost in the wisdom of words, whereas plain and simple sermons, delivered with power and demonstration of the Spirit, have been attended with astonishing success.