"The story of my life"

by Egerton Ryerson

(Signed) Egerton Ryerson.
Hallowell, June 14, 1842.

You will see from the above memorandum, that I proposed to relinquish all except my connection with a church which I had joined in obedience to conscience, and my connection with a field of labour to which I believed myself called by the voice and providence of God. My request was laid upon the table of the Conference for a day, and then pressed by me with as much propriety as I could employ on such a subject, but, with one exception (Andrew Prindle), was unanimously rejected, it being insisted that I should not be allowed to change my relations to the Conference, in any respect, on account of your differences with me. To relinquish my connection with the Church, and my labours as a Methodist minister, involve considerations which ought not to yield to the impulse of passion, or bow to the suggestions of expediency. By God's grace, therefore, I hope to be able to "stand in my place to the end of the day," say or do what you may....

Dr. Alder and his Canadian friends have advised you from the beginning that my standing and influence in Canada was merely political; that I was aware of this, and was, therefore, determined to employ myself in political affairs in order to gratify my ambition. My assertions to the contrary were, of course, rejected and scorned by you. Well, nearly three years have elapsed since, by common consent, I have had nothing whatever to do with the civil affairs of Canada, as all the public men in it know. My own conduct, therefore, has thus far refuted one part of the statements of your informers. As to the other part, has my standing as a public man declined? or, have all parties, during that period, awarded me a testimony of regard more gratifying than that which I had ever before received from any party?

You were also told that my principles were revolutionary, and were so viewed by the wealth and intelligence of this country, which would support you and repudiate me and those connected with me. What do you now see, but the Government at home and in Canada adopting the very system of administration, both in religious, educational, and civil affairs, which I maintained many years ago to be most suitable to the social condition of this Province; and the wealth and intelligence of our population (save a little knot of Puseyite ultras) rejoicing in its establishment; and the country in happy tranquility, and blooming with prosperity, under its operations? What do you see but Her Majesty possessing a strength far more formidable than that of swords or bayonets, in the hearts of her Canadian subjects? What do you see, but three branches of the Legislature unanimously incorporating as a College, with the privileges of a University, an institution under the direction of the Canada Conference (which you had repudiated), and in compliance with an application which I had the honour to have advocated, and according to the provisions of a Bill, verbatim et literatim, which I drew up? What do you see, but that same Legislature, with equal unanimity, granting £500 to the same institution, and lately, by the recommendation of His Excellency, Sir Charles Bagot, renewing that grant as an annual aid to the institution, now presided over by the individual against whom all your attacks have been directed? Can I but feel a grateful, as well as a dutiful attachment to a Government so perfectly consonant with my own feelings? Can I but feel an honest pride, retrospecting the past, and looking abroad upon the present, to see in the constitution and spirit of Her Majesty's Canadian Government my own views and wishes carried out to the very letter? Can I but rejoice, to see several members of the Government on our College Board and Senate—and to be aided by their counsel, abilities, and influence?

I advert to these facts with heart-felt thankfulness, as a practical vindication of my life and character against your imputations, and as an indication strong, if not providential, that I have, in the main at least, endeavoured to do my duty to my God, my Sovereign, and my country.... Unconnected as I am with any party, and on friendly terms with leading men of all parties, countenanced by the Government, aided by the Legislature, and sustained by the public, I can, by the divine blessing, employ my humble abilities, even under the weight of Dr. Alder's frowns, to rearing up a large body of well instructed youth, and a considerable number of ministers, who, I hope, will be a blessing to this their country, and to the church, and who will, doubtless, do justice to me when both Dr. Alder and myself shall be receiving our reward according to our respective works, "whether they be good or bad."...

My differences with you are wholly of a public and official character; personally I esteem and honour you as much as I ever did, and wish you God speed in your general works of faith and divine labours of love....

The only persons in England with whom I have the slightest personal difference are Dr. Alder and Mr. Lord, for their uncalled for and unjust personal attacks upon me. I cherish no ill-feeling towards them. But I ask not your indulgence; I fear you not; I know and admire you as distinguished servants of the Most High, but as greatly mistaken as to what truly appertains to one hundred and twenty-one itinerant ministers, and a large and growing branch of the Wesleyan body in Western Canada—a body now beginning, like yourselves, to raise up a regularly educated as well as a zealous ministry....

This epistle shall be my witness to the Government, to the church, and to posterity, that the dreadful disgrace and varied evils of perpetuating the present unseemly violation of Methodistic and Christian unity in Upper Canada, and the creation and continuance of unnatural and unchristian schisms and divisions in a Christian church, lie not at my door; and that for the sake of peace, I have offered to do all that could be demanded of me by reason of Christianity....

As the Government is interested in this controversy, I shall deem it my duty to enclose a copy of the present letter to His Excellency the Governor-General, with a request that His Excellency will have the goodness to forward it to Her Majesty's Secretary of State for the Colonial Department, that Her Majesty's Government, both at home and in this country, may fully understand the present posture of this affair, at least as far as you and myself are concerned, and with whom lies the responsibility of this continued controversy.

For the reasons given above to the Secretaries of the Wesleyan Conference in England, Dr. Ryerson transmitted a copy of his letter to them to Sir Charles Bagot, on the 10th December, 1842, accompanied with an explanatory letter, from which I extract the following narrative connected with this matter:—Two weeks before the late Lord Sydenham's arrival in Toronto (in November, 1839), at a meeting of the agents of the London Committee, and the Executive Committee of the Canadian Conference, every matter of misunderstanding and jealousy, as far as I know, was satisfactorily settled. It was explicitly agreed on all sides, and recorded, that I should press the settlement of the clergy reserve question. On other things it was my wish and aim to remain neutral. This I did, until some weeks after Lord Sydenham's arrival. Parties were very equally divided on the question of the union of the Canadas, and the terms on which it should be effected. I was then Editor of the Guardian; I was desired by the agents of the London Wesleyan Committee and their friends (and some of my own friends), to oppose the union of the Canadas; Lord Sydenham sent for me, and earnestly solicited me to advocate it, and assured me that it should involve no change in the principles of our Constitution, but even secure greater privileges to the people of Canada, and that it was the only hope of Canada. He promised, in case he could get the Union measure through the Canadian Legislature, to apply himself to the settlement of the clergy reserve question, in accordance with such principles as I had expressed, and which he understood to be general in Upper Canada. After much consideration, I consented to give a decided support to the Government in that great measure. The agents of the London Committee were greatly offended, and were sure, as were many others, that Lord Sydenham would not be supported by the Imperial Parliament, and threatened a breaking up of the union between the English and Canadian Conferences; and in about three weeks afterwards, they intimated to Lord Sydenham that the union between the two bodies would not be continued, and sought to get the Methodist portion of the proceeds of the clergy reserves secured to those who should be connected with the British Wesleyan Conference. Lord Sydenham, learning the circumstances in which I was placed, opposed by the agents of the London Committee and all the opponents of the union of the Canadas, and by the "radical reform" portion of the press, for assenting to the application of the clergy reserves to religious purposes at all, and by many of the members of my own Church, because I assented to a Bill which recognized the Churches of England and Scotland by name, and not the Methodist Church,—assured me of all protection and support that his Government could give. I asked for nothing but a due consideration and protection of the interests of the Church which I represented. Of this I received repeated assurances; and when, a few months afterwards, Lord Sydenham received from Lord John Russell, a copy of Dr. Alder's first letter to his Lordship, Lord Sydenham not only renewed the private expression of his views and purposes, but introduced them voluntarily in an answer to a congratulatory address of the Canadian Conference. In reference to these very matters, out of which the present question has arisen, Lord Sydenham thus expressed himself, and pledged the faith of his Government. He said:—