February 3rd.—I have travelled to-day in an Irish settlement, and preached twice to them. My life is a scene of toil and pain, I am far from well, and far from parents and relatives. While others enjoy all the advantages of domestic life, I am doomed to deny myself. Oh, my soul, behold the example the Saviour has set. "He had not where to lay his head." Is the servant above his Lord?
Feb. 11th.—For several days I have been visiting my friends. I think they are improving in religious knowledge. What an unspeakable blessing to see them showing a desire to walk in the narrow way that leads to life eternal.
Feb. 18th.—I have just returned to my Circuit. This is the first time I ever dropped appointments for the gratification of seeing my friends. It has taught me the lesson, that labouring in the vineyard of the Lord is more blessed than any personal gratification.
Feb. 28th.—This month presents the most mournful portrait I have ever beheld in retrospect of my past time since I began to travel. Since I visited my friends everything has gone against me. The season of recreation was not improved as it ought to have been; I lost the unction of the Holy One, and returned to my Circuit depressed in mind. Shall I sink down in despair? No, I will return unto the Lord. He has smitten, He will heal. I will go to the fountain open for sin and uncleanness. I will renew my covenant, and offer my poor all to him once more.
March 23rd.—This day closes my twenty-third year and the first of my ministry. How mysterious was the providence which induced me to enter the itinerant ministry. It was the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in my eyes. Since I have devoted myself to Him in a perpetual covenant, how great has been His paternal care over me. I have felt the rod of affliction, but, He has sanctified it. I have been assailed by temptation, but He has delivered me. I have been caressed and flattered, but the Lord, in great mercy, has saved me from the dangerous rocks of vanity and pride. My soul has at times been overspread with clouds and darkness, but the "Sun of Righteousness has again risen" with brightness on his wings. I have oft been cast down, but blessed be the Lord who has given me the "oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." My mind at times has been filled with doubts and fears, and I have been tempted to say, "I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency," but the Lord has saved my feet from slipping, and established my goings upon a firm foundation. He has put a new song into my mouth, and enabled me to say, "What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee."
April 17th.—This day, for the first time, I have declared to the aborigines of the country that "Jesus is precious to those who believe." My heart rejoiced in God, who is claiming the heathen for His inheritance.
April 19th.—[On this day Dr. Ryerson wrote from Saltfleet to his Mother. He said:—
As you, my dear Mother, were always anxious about my health, I write to-day to assure you that since I left home it has been extremely good. I think I am making some small progress in those attainments which are only acquired by prayer, and holy devotedness to God. I find the work I have undertaken is an all-important one. I have many things to learn, and many things to unlearn. I have had some severe trials, and some mortifying scenes. At other times I have been unspeakably blessed, and I have been greatly encouraged at some favourable prospects. Several times my views have been greatly enlarged, and my mind enlightened, while, with a warm and full heart, I have been trying to address a large and much affected congregation. It is not my endeavour to shine, or to please, but to speak to the heart and the conscience. And with a view to this, I have aimed at the root of injurious prejudices, and notions that I have found prevalent in different places. I find, by experience, that a firm reliance on the power and grace of Christ is everything. I hope that you, my dear Mother, will pray for me that the Lord will give me grace, power, and wisdom to do my whole duty.
I am very sorry to hear of your ill-health. I hope and pray that the Father of all mercies will continue to support, comfort, and deliver you, in the midst of your afflictions and sorrows. Blessed be the Lord, dear Mother, the day is not far distant when you can rest your weary spirit in the arms of Jesus; and should I survive you, while you are pursuing the blessed, triumphant theme of redeeming love, in strains the most exalted, I will endeavour in my feeble way to follow you to the same blessed kingdom.
Brother William received a letter from John last week. His health is very bad. His excessive labour has overcome him. He has forty appointments in four weeks. He is now stationed in Kingston.—H.]