"I dare say it would not if we were both about thirty years of age," I replied; "but, as it is, I feel ever so much older than you. Mother says that girls grow old faster than boys."
"That's all rubbish," he said impatiently. "I beg your mother's pardon, but it is. Anyhow, by your own showing, it will not matter in ten years' time, and I am willing to wait as long as that if need be. So, Nan, give me a little hope, there's a darling. You say you don't dislike me, so you can surely promise that we will always be chums."
I shook my head. I hated the position in which I was placed, but I had no doubt as to my own feelings. "I can give no promise," I said firmly.
"Nan, you are unkind," he said. "You don't understand what this means to me. If only you would consent to wait for me, how I would work! It would be something to live for. You should be proud of me some day, Nan."
"You have your father and your profession and your king and country to live for," I said. "They ought to be enough."
"They are not for me!" he cried. "I don't profess to be a heroic being, but you might make anything of me. It was the hope of winning your love that brought me through my exam. I knew you would not look at me if I failed."
"Oh, Jack, as if that would make the least difference if I cared for you in that way!" I cried impulsively, and the next moment was covered with confusion as I realised how I had given myself away. I grew crimson as Jack halted and stood looking at me with sudden, painful comprehension in his eyes.
"I see," he said slowly; "you know you care in that way for some one else. I can guess who it is—that—"
"Stop, Jack!" I cried, so imperiously that the words died on his lips. "Remember that you are a gentleman, and do not say what you will afterwards be sorry for. You have no right to speak to me so, and I will not listen to you. Never open this subject again. My answer is final!"
To make it hard for him to disobey me, I started at a run for the house. He did not attempt to follow me. At the end of the lawn I halted for a moment and looked back. Jack stood motionless where I had left him. He had so dejected an air that my anger was lost in regret. I could not bear to give pain to my old playfellow. I went on more slowly towards the house. As I entered I glanced back again. Jack was just swinging his long limbs over the wall. He often preferred vaulting it to making his exit by the gate. It seemed so odd an ending to our romantic interview that I burst out laughing as I went indoors. Colonel Hyde, who sat smoking just within the porch, looked at me in astonishment, and I found some difficulty in replying to his query as to the cause of my merriment. I could only say that I laughed at the way Jack jumped over the wall. Then I made haste to tell him of Jack's success. He was delighted, for, as the Vicar's old friend, he took a great interest in Jack.