"Kate, Kate, you must not talk like that!" exclaimed Mr. Dicks in tones that seemed tremulous with emotion. "You make me ashamed of myself, you do indeed. The truth is, I don't deserve to be loved like that. I'm not a good man. There's been ugly bits in my history I would not choose for you to know. I am puzzled what you can see to care for in me. I'll allow I thought 'twas my money drew you. Well, if anything can make a man good it is to be loved by such a woman as you, and, if you will stick to me, I'll try my hardest to make it worth your while. Josiah Dicks is ready to begin the world again, and, please God, he'll win his way up yet!"
But I heard no more. I sprang from my seat and hastened inside my room, ashamed of myself for having even for so short a time played the part of an eavesdropper. Miss Cottrell's natural eloquence was too enthralling, and my heart at that hour was quick to sympathise with the feeling that moved her. But I should never have believed it of her! How easy it Is to misjudge others! Miss Cottrell's faults were on the surface; beneath were sterling qualities of heart and mind. I found myself wondering whether it was not worth while for Josiah Dicks to lose his wealth in order to discover the treasure he possessed in this woman's love.
[CHAPTER XXIV]
WEDDING BELLS
I SUPPOSE a girl is never so humble as when she knows that she has won the love of a noble-minded man, far above herself in every way. Certainly I felt very conscious of my own unworthiness on the morning that followed Alan Faulkner's return. Yet I was strangely proud too, but it was of another.
Alan found an early opportunity of saying a few words to Aunt Patty, after which she called me aside and, kissing me tenderly, said how glad she was and how she hoped I should be as happy as she had been with her dear husband. I privately hoped that I should be a great deal happier. It seemed strange to me that she should think for a moment of comparing Alan to Uncle George, with his fidgets and gout and uncertainty of temper. I forgot that he was the husband of her youth, and, presumably, had not suffered from gout when she married him.
When we had talked a little, Aunt Patty asked me if I had seen Paulina since breakfast, and I was shocked to realise that I had hardly given a thought since I rose to the trouble that overhung my friend.
"I saw her father taking her off for a walk," said Aunt Patty, "so I suppose he was going to tell her the bad news. I am glad he kept it to himself last night."
I watched anxiously for Paulina's return. Alan was busy in his room; he was going up to town in the afternoon in order to see father and mother. I turned hot and cold whenever I thought of what mother would think or say when she learned the object of his visit. Of one thing I felt certain: she could not fail to like Alan Faulkner.
I had accomplished most of my morning tasks and was watering my plants on the top of the porch, when I saw Paulina and her father enter the garden. Josiah Dicks looked a much happier man than he had appeared on the previous evening. He had lost, perhaps for ever, his air of elation and self-complacency; but apparently a load had been lifted from his heart since I last saw him. Paulina had a sober air, yet did not appear so cast down as I had expected she would be. She nodded and smiled when she caught sight of me in my observatory, and a few minutes later she was up there beside me.