Though Juliet resented Mr. Mainprice's attempt to "talk religion" to her, his words had gone home. She could not forget them.
That night, after her uncle had gone away, she lingered alone in the little garden attached to the house in which she and her mother were lodging. It was growing dusk. Already stars were appearing in the clear sky above her head. A light breeze rustled the trees. Behind her lay the vast, mysterious moor. In front, far down beneath the trees, out of sight, but making its presence known by the low, distant moaning of its waves, was the sea.
All about her God's great, wonderful world. What a poor, insignificant atom she seemed in comparison! Did it matter so very much how she lived?
"Yes," the voice of her better self made answer, "it did matter. It must be better to take God's way, even if it seemed steep and hard, for it would lead upward."
And her own self-chosen, pleasure-seeking way, where would that lead? Juliet had a distinct sense of being called at this hour to make a choice. She could clearly see the two ways opening before her, one easy and pleasant and winding, the other straight and steep. A struggle went on within her. The yearning for goodness she had felt before awoke again. Oh, to have an inner life as pure and serene and beautiful as the summer, night! Oh, to know that all was right with her life, to feel that a Power outside herself, a Power as loving as it was mighty, was leading, guiding, controlling all!
Juliet's better self had almost gained the day, when there came to her the thought of Salome. Could she become such a one as Salome, so harsh and censorious, wearing such plain, ill-fitting clothes, denying herself all amusement, walking in so straight and narrow a way?
No, anything but that. And self-will asserted itself anew. She could not try to alter herself. She must follow her own way, whatever it might lead to. So self-will gained the day, and Juliet hurried into the house, determinedly closing her mind against serious thought.
Salome, with all her blindness and self-deception, was yet sincere in her endeavour to do her duty and lead a Christian life. How she would have grieved, could she have known that her austerity had driven Juliet at this critical moment of her life from the loving Saviour, whose image she, who called herself His disciple, had so utterly failed to reflect!
[CHAPTER IX]
GRATIFIED DESIRES