John made no answer at all, but stared gloomily into the fire. In his heart he wished Mr. Bland would mind his own business, for why should he lose everything? Dark, selfish, miserable thoughts, like flocks of evil birds, seemed to hover over him and shut out heaven.
CHAPTER X
IN DANGER
"But if it were not so—if I could find
No love in all the world for comforting——"
—E. B. BROWNING.
Mary Alfrick went away to the Orphanage, and Markwood lived its life without her. She was not very much missed by the neighbours, from whom she had always held rather aloof. At first there was constant grumbling at the farm, for only now that Mary was gone did her relations really feel how much of the work had been done by her. Life seemed harder than ever to Mrs. Alfrick; but Lizzie, a good and willing child, did all she could to help her mother, and by degrees the household settled down to a bearable sort of daily life, though less tidy and less comfortable than in the old days when Mary was at home.
The blank that she left at the blacksmith's cottage was less easily filled up. No one could be Mary's substitute there. Mrs. Randal never complained, but in truth the girl had been her right hand for years. She could hardly remember the time, since Mary grew out of childhood, when she had been without her constant affection and ready help. Then it had always been a hope in the mother's heart that some day Mary would be really her daughter; and she had even smiled a little to herself over the extra quiet, steady ways of both, which delayed the engagement, she fancied, longer than was necessary.
And now all was over. Mrs. Randal knew that Mary had her full share of temper and pride, and she was not altogether very much surprised that John had failed to make it up with her. She told herself that after all a girl worthy of John did not exist. In her first sorrow and disappointment, she could have said a few hard words of Mary; but when something of this kind escaped her, John got up suddenly and flung himself out of the room, after which she said no more.
From him, no one ever heard a word of reproach or complaint, and one day, meeting his mother's eyes full of tears, he said rather impatiently, "Don't you go worrying about me, mother. I ought to have known. I deserve all I've got, and more."
"Well, I hope she knows what she's lost," sighed Mrs. Randal.
"Don't blame her," said John; and Lily just then running in from school, neither of them said any more.