On my return home from my late journey, I felt my mind drawn in sympathy, attended with a concern to pay a religious visit to the neighbouring inhabitants in the compass of our quarterly meeting. This concern I opened to my friends the first monthly meeting after my return, and received their full unity therein; but taking a severe cold soon after I came home, I continued indisposed for some weeks, which with some necessary concerns, prevented my entering on the visit, until after our succeeding monthly meeting. The fourth day following, the 22d of 12th month, I proceeded therein, accompanied by my wife and my kinsman, Isaac Hicks, of Westbury. We were from home five days, and attended six meetings, mostly among those of other societies. It was a time of deep exercise to me, being led in the line of searching labour, pointing to a reform in manners and conduct; and showing the fallacy of all ceremonial religion in the observation of days, and complying with outward ordinances; which do not in the least tend to make the comers thereunto a whit the better, as it respects the conscience, but lead the observers thereof into a form, without the power.
We returned home the following second day. I tarried at home until the beginning of the next week, when feeling my mind drawn to attend the monthly meeting of Friends in New-York, I again left home, accompanied by the aforesaid friend. We were at the monthly meeting on fourth day, in which I had some close exercise, the meeting having much business before it, and one case in particular was very trying, in which Friends were divided, and two or three unqualified individuals seemed determined, for a considerable time, to compel the meeting to comply with their unsanctified wills; but as Friends who were rightly exercised, patiently kept up the travail, and withstood them, truth was raised into dominion, and by its power silenced all their cavilling, and united the meeting in a right conclusion. The meeting for worship and that for discipline continued upwards of six hours.
We left the city soon after the close of this long meeting, and passed over the river to Brooklyn, where by previous appointment we had a meeting that evening, composed of the different professions of the inhabitants of that place, very few Friends residing there. The meeting was pretty large, and in the main satisfactory. The next day we proceeded to Flushing, and attended their monthly meeting. I was silent in the meeting for worship, but had some good service in that for discipline. We also had an appointed meeting in the evening for the inhabitants of the town, which was large and solemn. The next day we returned to Newtown, and had a meeting at Friends’ meeting-house at the Kilns in that place, at the eleventh hour; and another in the evening at the sixth hour, in the village. They were both favoured meetings. We returned to Flushing after the latter meeting, and lodged with our kind friend Walter Farrington, and the next day rode home and found my family well.
First day, the 9th of 1st month, 1820. I sat with my friends at home in our own meeting to-day, which I considered as no small privilege.
On second day morning I was early informed, that my kinsman and kind fellow traveller Isaac Hicks, was taken with a severe illness, about ten o’clock the preceding evening, and lay at the point of death. I hastened to see him, and found him nearly breathing his last, being past noticing any thing by his external senses. It was a sudden and unexpected trial to me, to be thus almost instantaneously separated from such a kind and valued friend, who had for a number of years devoted himself in divers ways, to promote the cause of truth and righteousness in the earth; and in particular, by encouraging and accompanying Friends in the ministry, when travelling in truth’s service, especially myself, having been with me in several long journeys, as well as divers short ones. I parted with him at the close of one of the latter, on the seventh day afternoon before his death, at his own house, and apparently in usual health: although he had been for a considerable time previous thereto, much afflicted, at times, with severe pain in his breast and shortness of breath, which created great suffering during their continuance. He had a return thereof the evening before I last parted with him, which occasioned him to observe to me, that he thought he should ere long be taken off in one of those attacks; but I then thought quite otherwise, as in other respects he appeared to be in very good health, and had a very healthy countenance.
Such sudden attacks prove with indubitable evidence, that mortality is so closely interwoven in the very constitution of these animal bodies, that the present moment is the only time we can call our own; and which continually announce the impressive language: “Be ye therefore ready.”
Such sudden and unexpected separations from our endeared friends make the loss seem greater, not only to their families and near connexions, but to their friends in general, and particularly so to those who knew their real worth. But it ever affords a soothing consolation, and induces to acquiesce in the divine will, when we have evident cause to hope that our loss, which is but for a short time, is their eternal gain.
I attended the funeral of my beloved friend, which was large and solemn; and I was led forth in an impressive testimony to the truths of the gospel; inviting the people to inquire, and see, and taste for themselves, that the Lord is good.
I continued at home until the following seventh day, when I again proceeded on my visit to the neighbouring towns and villages. I was from home about thirteen days and attended fifteen meetings, returning home on sixth day, the 11th of 2d month, 1820. My service in many of those opportunities was very arduous; the lukewarmness and insensibility of the people, as to any right religious concern, make hard work for the honest labourers, in this day of ease and carnal security. But true peace of mind, the sure result of faithfulness, crowns the attempts at doing good, as it makes hard things easy and bitter things sweet.
I tarried at home until the latter end of the next week, in the course of which I had a very severe attack of bodily indisposition, occasioned by the gravel, with which I have been afflicted at times, for near twenty years. These warnings are designed to spur us on to our duty, as they continually announce to the enlightened mind this very useful memento: “Remember to die.”