CHAPTER XII.
Engagements at and about home, and within Westbury quarterly meeting, 1816 and 1817.
First day, the 16th of 6th month, 1816. My wife being under an appointment to meet some women Friends at Bethpage meeting, I accompanied her thither. It proved an exercising meeting, especially in the forepart; but as I submitted cheerfully and patiently to endure the present baptism, which, indeed, as the experienced Paul well observes, is being baptized for the dead, towards the latter part of the meeting, that all-quickening and vivifying power that raises the dead to life, was felt gradually to arise, by which my mind was quickened and led to minister to the states of many present. Life spread over the meeting tendering many hearts, and we parted under a grateful sense of the Lord’s mercies; so that indeed the query of the royal Psalmist is worthy to be had in continual remembrance: “What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me?”
Spent the rest of this week about home. Attended our monthly meeting on fifth day, but nothing unusual transpired.
First day, the 23d. Had the company of our friend Mary Post from Westbury, she being engaged in a visit to the families of Friends in our monthly meeting, a very useful service when rightly entered into. My mind in this meeting, was brought under exercise, in the remembrance of the following exhortation of the wise king Solomon, viz: “Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” From a consideration of which, I was led to believe there was a very great want of care among people generally, in duly guarding their rising cogitations and thoughts, as it is the avenue by which all temptations enter, and get place in the mind; and, if suited to our natural propensities, too often overcome and lead to undue conduct. The subject spread on my mind, and led to an impressive, and, I trust, to some, an instructive communication; for which my mind was made gratefully thankful to the Author of every blessing.
Fifth day. Had the company of our aforesaid Friend at our meeting to-day, whose simple and plain communication, tended to quicken. A comfortable degree of life accompanied my mind during the meeting, which I accounted a favour, having for some time past witnessed much poverty of spirit in our meetings. The rest of the week I attended to my temporal concerns, as much as my state of health permitted; but being much indisposed with bodily pain, it was but little I could do, except to take some oversight of my business. This I consider one, among many other such like mementos, to remind me of the approach of my bodily dissolution. Be attentive, O my soul! that so thou mayest be in a state of readiness when the midnight cry is heard: “Behold the bridegroom cometh.”
First day, the 30th. My mind was led into close exercise and travail, in the prospect of the very great apparent want of truth and justice among the generality of the professors of Christianity, even of the foremost classes of the different sects. The subject spread and opened to communication, in which the attention of the auditory was impressively called to the subject, as one of the greatest moment, both in respect to our temporal, and, in a very especial manner, our spiritual good; as every other virtue must fail, and prove abortive, where truth and justice are wanting.
The rest of this week passed away without any thing worthy of remark, except great poverty of spirit being almost continually my attendant.
First day, the 7th of 7th month. My mind was opened and enlarged in communication in our meeting to-day, on the subject of the universal love of God to the children of men. For he not only extends his gracious call to all, but causes them to hear it; yet, agreeably to that scripture testimony, “all have not obeyed the gospel.” There are also many other plain testimonies in the scriptures of the same import; clearly showing, that man’s destruction and misery is altogether the result of his own misconduct, and disobedience to divine requisition, without any necessity laid upon him by his gracious Creator to err, or to swerve from the path of rectitude; so that the Lord will be clear of the blood of all his rational creation, as saith the prophet: “O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help;” and there are many other passages which express the same. My mind was led to open these subjects in a clear manner to the people, and to show that the want of a right faith in God and Christ, as inwardly revealed, was one of the greatest obstacles to their living a just and righteous life in the sight of their Creator, as the just can only live by faith. The meeting was large, and many hearts were convicted, comforted and contrited; to the Lord only belongs all the praise, nothing due to man but blushing and confusion of face.
In the course of this week I was much unwell, forewarning me that my glass is almost run, and my day of labour drawing to a close. My indisposition prevented my attending our preparative meeting on fifth day. These things all unitedly conspire to sound forth this language, remember to die. Oh that I might witness with the worthy Paul, more and more a daily death, to every thing that tends to hinder my steady walking in the path of duty, that so my day’s work may be finished in the day time.