Invitations to a hospitable meal or feast are often sent out shortly before the actual hour, if not just at the very time.[[170]] It is commonly the case that a courteous host seeks to dissuade the guest from bringing the call or visit to a close.[[171]] The departing guest usually says something like “A khâṭrak,” “By your leave,” to which the host answers, “Ma‛ Salâmeh,” “[Go] with peace.”[[172]] The first speaker responds to this with “‛Ala selmâk,” or “Selimt.”
[[173]]Greetings in the market-place and on the road are formal but graceful. The common greeting of “Salâm ‛alaykum,”[[174]] “Peace be on you,” is replied to by “‛Alaykum es-salâm,” “May the peace be on you.” In strictness this is the salutation of Moslems, though it is commonly used indiscriminately. Now and then one may hear of a bigoted Moslem who would not return this salutation to a Christian, but would mumble out “Peace be on the faithful ones,” in which class he would include, of course, none but his coreligionists.[[175]] More characteristic are the rustic salutations, “Marḥabâ,” “Welcome”; “Mîyet marḥabâ,” “A hundred welcomes”; “Kayf ḥâlak,” “How are you?”; “Ḥumdillâh,” “Praise God”; “Allâh yofathak,” “May God preserve you”; “Ḥumdillâh salâmeh,” “Praise God, you are well,” or, “I see you well”; “Salâmtak,” “Your peace.” The peasant’s early good morning salutation is “Ṣubâḥkum b’l-khayr,” to which the response is, “Yâ ṣubâḥ el-khayr.” When the day is well on the pleasant greeting is, “Nahârak sa‛îd,” “May your day be happy,” to which the gracious reply is, “Nahârak umbârak,” “May your day be blessed.” The evening salutation is, “Mesâîkum b’l-khayr,” answered by, “Yâ mesâ el-khayr.” At night it is, “Layltak sa‛îdeh.”
An evasive answer to one asking a question as to another’s destination in traveling is to reply, “A(la) bâb Allâh,” “To the gate of God.”
In addressing foreigners the peasants use the term khawâjah for a man and sitt for a woman. In speaking to a superior of their own race they employ the term sayyid, lord, or sir, or effendy. Among themselves they use the word shaykh for an elderly, a learned or a holy man. To their equals in age and station the peasant’s titles of address are numerous. “Yâ shaykh” to such is used in expostulation or derision. “‛Ammy,” “My uncle”; “Ḥabîby,” “My dear”; “Mu‛allim,” “Master” or “Teacher,” or the first name of the one addressed are used in conversation. If the talkers are uncertain of each other’s name they may say, “Hayû, shu ismak?” “Eh, there, what’s your name?” though this is rather contemptuous. In rough conversation the speakers may grace each other with such address as “Yâ bârid,” literally, “Thou cold one,” meaning foolish one; “Shu ente,” “Who are you anyway?”; “Majnûn, ente?”, “Are you mad?”; “Ana ḥamâr?”, “Am I a donkey?” i. e., “Do you take me for a donkey?” or, sarcastically, “Shâṭrak,” “You are clever.” To boys, “Yâ ṣuby,” or “Yâ weled,” and to girls or any unmarried woman, “Yâ bint,” are the simple forms of address. “‛Amty,” “My aunt,” is often used to middle-aged or elderly matrons. A father will often call his child by the relation which he himself sustains to the child, “Yâ aba,” literally, “O father!” A maternal aunt has been heard to call her niece or her nephew by the relationship which she holds to either, viz., “Yâ khâlty,” meaning literally, “My maternal aunt.”
A very graceful salute is executed with the right hand touching lightly first one’s breast, then the lips and then the forehead. The one saluted answers by the same set of gestures. In Damascus I once saw a group of citizens who had gathered in a tiny room for conversation executing simultaneously a similar salute, except that they first swept the right hand downward towards the ground in lieu of the touch on the breast. This variation is more elegant or more humble than the former way, according to circumstances.[[176]] I once saw a villager presenting a paper to be read to one of the official class. The peasant made a sweeping motion toward the ground with the hand holding the document.
In meeting, the native seizes the hand of his superior and endeavors to bring the back of the hand to his lips and forehead. The other, however, generally succeeds in withdrawing his hand before more than a touch of hands has been accomplished. On meeting, especially after a separation, the custom has obtained among women friends of kissing each other first on the right cheek and then on the left. Men salute each other in the same way in some localities. Strangers enter into amiable conversation with each other without the necessity of introductions.
The guest-house of the tribe makes a place of rendezvous for men, where congenial companions may be met in a social way. Song and story are much enjoyed by the men. Those who have a knack for story-telling, or who can sing to their own accompaniment on the rabâb, a kind of fiddle, or on the ‛ûd, a kind of lute, are assured an appreciative audience. The social and kindly amenities may be seen here at the guest-house after a funeral. The nearest of kin to the deceased among the men is constrained by his men friends to accompany them to the guest-house where, by preparing food and supplying a stream of conversation, they try to divert his mind from his grief. They may seek to entertain him thus for several days. I accompanied one such group of mourners and sympathizers to the guest-house where we sat cross-legged upon the floor. A man and his wife who lived in the same house and kept the guest-room in order prepared coffee. Green coffee berries were roasted in a long-handled iron ladle over the coals in a clay brazier. The roasted berries were put into a wooden mortar and pounded with a long wooden pestle. When they were quite fine the odor was very pleasant. The coffee was then put into a tin pot having a long handle and allowed to cook over the brazier until it swelled up in the pot several times, when it was served in handleless cups, of which there were but two in the company. They handed me the first cup, but I passed it on, refusing to drink before the old men had partaken. The cup that I used was washed after my predecessor had drunk from it, but I noticed that for the others the cups were refilled without washing. It was most delicious coffee. Some of the men had previously refreshed themselves with cigarettes. The talk had been general and lively and an air of comfort and good-will had filled the place. I admired those good-hearted men and their simple and sensible way, as with the fumes of coffee and the interest of their talk they beguiled their friend and themselves for several hours. The female friends of a woman in grief assemble at the house where she lives with the object of comforting her. So with all the great events of life, birth, marriage, death, a feast, a return from a journey, the friends, who are usually related, distantly at any rate, gather together for the pleasure of conversation and discussion, to drink coffee and, as they say in the native idiom, to “drink tobacco,” for they always describe smoking as drinking.
WOMEN AT THE SPRING
