I determined to ask her to read the whole poem presently, when we should be sitting together in the afternoon.
It had come on to rain and was a wretched dismal day, I wondered why Alathea had gone out. Probably she is as restless as I am, and being free to move, she can express her mood in rapid walking!
I began to plan my course of action.
To go on disturbing her as much as possible—
To give her the impression that I once thought her perfection, but that she herself has disillusioned me, and that I am indifferent to her now.
That I am cynical, but am amused to discuss love in the abstract.
That I have friends who divert me, and that I really only want her to be a secretary and companion, and that any interest I may show in her is merely for my own vanity, because she is, to the world, my wife!
If I can only keep this up, and not soften should I see her distressed, and not weaken or give the show away, I must inevitably win the game, perhaps sooner than I dare hope!
I felt glad she had not been there, so that I could pull myself together, and put my armour on, so to speak, before we met.
I heard her come in just before luncheon and go to her room, and then she came on to the sitting-room without her hat.