"She did not discuss those things with me. But she did say that in life, now and then, there came a coup de foudre, which sometimes was its glory and sometimes not; that this was nature, and there was no use going absolutely contrary to nature; but that a disciplined person was less likely to commit a bêtise, or to mistake a passing light for the coup de foudre, than one who was accustomed to give way to every emotion, as a trained soldier is better able to stand fire than the raw recruit from the fields."
"And yet the trained soldier goes under sometimes."
"In that case, she said, there were only two courses—either to finish the matter and go out altogether, or to get up again and fight better next time."
Antony looked down at me. He shaded his eyes with his hand, and it seemed as if he were observing something in my very soul. Then he said, with a whimsical smile, "Comtesse, tell me. And did she consider there were any great sins?"
"Oh yes. To break one's word, or in any way degrade one's race. But she said sins were not so much sins in themselves as in their façon de faire. One must remain a gentlewoman—or man—always, even in moments of the greatest tourbillons. 'We are all of flesh and blood,' she said, 'but in the same situation the fille de chambre conducts herself differently to the femme de qualité.' What a serious impression I am giving you of grandmamma, though! She was a gay person, full of pleasant thoughts."
"She permitted pleasures, then?"
"But, of course, all pleasures that did not really injure other people. She said priests and custom and convention had robbed the world of much joy."
"She was quite right."
"She liked people to have fine perceptions. To be able to 'see with the eye-lashes' was one of her expressions, and, I assure you, nothing escaped her. It was very fatiguing to be long in the company of people who passed their lives morally eating suet-pudding, she said. Avoid stodge, she told me, and, above all, I was to avoid that sentimental, mawkish, dismal point of view that dramatically wrote up, over everything, 'Duty,' with a huge D. It happened that there were duties to be done in life, but they must be accomplished quietly, or gayly, as the case might be. 'Do not shut the mouth with a snap, and, having done so, turn the corners down,' she said. 'These habits will not procure friends for you.' And so I learned to take things gayly."
We were both silent for some time after this. Then Antony exerted himself to amuse me. We talked as lightly as the skimming of swallows, flying from one subject to another. We were as happy as laughing children. The time passed. It seemed but a few minutes when the clock struck eight.