I asked her if there were not any new books they wanted to read, but she said Lady Katherine did not care for their looking at magazines or novels unless she had been through them first, and she had not time for many, so they kept the few they had to read between tea and dinner on Sunday.
By this time I felt I should do something wicked; and if the luncheon gong had not sounded, I do not know what would have happened.
Mr. Montgomerie said rather gallant things to me when the cheese and port came along, while the girls looked shocked, and Lady Katherine had a stony stare. I suppose he is like this because he is married. I wonder, though, if young married men are the same, I have never met any yet.
By Monday night I was beginning to feel the end of the world would come soon! It is ten times worse than even having had to conceal all my feelings, and abjectly obey Mrs. Carruthers. Because she did say cynical, entertaining things sometimes to me, and to her friends, that made one laugh. And one felt it was only she who made the people who were dependent upon her do her way, because she, herself, was so selfish, and that the rest of the world were free if once one got outside.
But Lady Katherine, and the whole Montgomerie milieu, give you the impression that everything and everybody must be ruled by rules; and no one could have a right to an individual opinion in any sphere of society.
You simply can’t laugh, they asphyxiate you. I am looking forward to this afternoon, and Mr. Carruthers coming over. I often think of the days at Branches, and how exciting it was, with those two, and I wish I were back again.
I have tried to be polite and nice to them all here, and yet they don’t seem absolutely pleased.
Malcolm gazes at me with sheep’s eyes. They are a washy blue, with the family white eyelashes (how different to Lord Robert’s!). He has the most precise, regulated manner, and never says a word of slang, he ought to have been a young curate, and I can’t imagine him spending his money on any Angela Greys, even if she is a horse or not.
He speaks to me when he can, and asks me to go for walks round the golf course. The four girls play for an hour and three-quarters every morning. They never seem to enjoy anything—the whole of life is a solid duty. I am sitting up in my room, and Véronique has had the sense to have my fire lighted early. I suppose Mr. Carruthers won’t come until about four, an hour more to be got through. I have said I must write letters, and so have escaped from them, and not had to go for the usual drive.