People of business, heads of companies or establishments, and persons of distinction, with many titles, use paper printed at the top, that is to say, having the name of their residence, the three first figures of the date of the year, their address, and these words, Mr. ——, (here follow the titles) to Mr. ——.
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It is extremely impolite to write a letter upon a single leaf of paper, even if it is a billet; it should be always double, even though we write only two or three lines. It is still more vulgar to use for an envelope, paper on which there are one or two words foreign to the letter itself, whether they be written or printed.
Billets, letters folded lengthwise, and half-envelopes, are little used. A folded letter, especially if written upon vellum paper, should be pressed at the folds by means of a paper-folder.
The rules of politeness ought moreover to decide as to the expense of postage. They require us to defray the expense of the letter if it is written to distinguished persons, or to those of whom we ask any favor; but it would be an incivility, and sometimes a want of delicacy, to do it when we write to a friend, an acquaintance, or to persons of little fortune, whose feelings we should fear to wound. We must therefore, in order to save them the expense as well as to avoid dissatisfaction, endeavor to make some excuse of business.
Letters for new year’s day, and other holidays, are usually written beforehand, in order to arrive on the previous or very same day. This is particularly required towards relations; for friends and intimate [p134] acquaintances, the following week will do, and for other persons, any time within the month.
It is as indispensable to answer when you are written to, as when you are spoken to, and the indolence which so many correspondents allow in themselves, in this respect, is an incivility. And if after all they decide to answer, they begin by apologies so constantly renewed, that they become common-place. We must use much care that these excuses may not be ridiculous. Conciseness, and some new terms of expression, are, in this case, indispensable. The same observation is applicable in making use of reproving terms.
Letters supply the place of visits, as we have seen, in bestowing presents, or on occasions of marriages, funerals, &c.
; to neglect to write in a similar case, is gross impoliteness.
Two persons should not write in the same letter, by one writing upon the first, and another upon the second leaf, except we are intimate with the correspondent. The same is applicable to postscripts. It is not allowable, except to familiar friends, to use expressions borrowed from foreign languages, as for instance the phrase of the Italians, I kiss your hands, &c. The language of men who write to ladies ought always to have a polish of respect, with which the latter might dispense in answering. Except on [p135] occasions of great ceremony, a lady ought not to address to a man such phrases as, I have the honor to be, &c. while the latter should use the most respectful terms, as Deign, madam, to allow me; allow me the honor of presenting you my respects, &c.
You may use a lofty style towards persons to whom you owe respect; on easy, trifling, or even jesting style, towards a friend; and a courteous style towards ladies generally. You should not write in a trifling style to persons of a higher standing. It sometimes happens that a man of superior rank honors with his friendship a man of lower condition, and is pleased that the latter writes to him without ceremony. In this case we may use the privilege which is given us; but we must take care not to abuse it, and to make known from time to time that we are ready to confine ourselves within respectful bounds.