When we intend giving an entertainment, we begin by selecting such guests as may enjoy themselves together, or at least tolerate one another. If it is to be composed of gentlemen, there should be no lady present, except the lady of the house. The dinner being determined upon, we give out two or three days beforehand, verbal or written invitations.
During the carnival or other season of gaiety, it is [p164] necessary to do it at least five days in advance, on account of the numerous engagements.
When we receive a written invitation, we must answer immediately whether we accept or not, although silence may be considered equivalent to an acceptance. In the latter case, we should give a plausible reason of our declining, and do it with politeness. When the invitation is verbal, we must avoid being urged; for nothing is more foolish and disobliging; we ought either to accept or refuse in a frank and friendly manner, offering some reasonable motive for declining, to which we should not again refer. It is not allowable to be urged, except when we are requested to dine with someone whom we have seen only at the house of a third person, or when we are invited on a visit or other similar occasion. In the former case, if we accept, we should first leave a card in order to open the acquaintance.
Having once accepted, we cannot break our engagement, unless for a most urgent cause.
An invitation ought to specify exactly the hour of meeting, and you should arrive precisely at that hour. The table should be ready, and the mistress of the house in the drawing-room, to receive the guests. When they are all assembled, a domestic announces that the dinner is served up; at this signal we rise immediately, and wait until the master [p165] of the house requests us to pass into the dining-room, whither he conducts us, by going before.
It is quite common for the lady of the house to act as guide, while he offers his hand to the lady of most distinction. The guests also give their arms to ladies, whom they conduct as far as the table, and to the place which they are to occupy. Take care, if you are not the principal guest, not to offer your hand to the handsomest or most distinguished lady; for it is a great impoliteness.
Having arrived at the table, each guest respectfully salutes the lady whom he conducts, and who in turn bows also. It is one of the first and most difficult things properly to arrange the guests, and to place them in such a manner that the conversation may always be general during the entertainment; we should as much as possible avoid putting next one another, two persons of the same profession; for it would necessarily result in an aside conversation, which would injure the general conversation, and consequently the gaiety of the occasion. The two most distinguished gentlemen are placed next the mistress of the house; the two most distinguished ladies next the master of the house; the right hand is especially the place of honor. If the number of gentlemen is nearly equal to that of the ladies, we should take care to intermingle them; we should [p166] separate husbands from their wives, and remove near relations as far from one another as possible, because being always together, they ought not to converse among themselves in a general party.
The younger guests, or those of less distinction, are placed at the lower end of the table.
In order to be able to watch the course of the dinner, and to see that nothing is wanting to their guests, the master and mistress of the house usually seat themselves in the centre of the table, opposite each other. As soon as the guests are seated, the lady of the house serves in plates, from a pile at her left hand, the soup which she sends round, beginning with her neighbors at the right and left, and continuing in the order of their distinction. These first plates usually pass twice, for every one endeavors to make his neighbor accept whatever is sent him.
The master of the house carves or causes to be carved by some expert guests, the large pieces, in order afterwards to do the honors himself. If you have no skill in carving meats, you should not attempt it; and never discharge this duty except when your good offices are solicited by him; neither can we refuse from his hand anything sent us.