As it is well known that the natives of the Emerald Isle have a predilection for cabbages, it is unanimously decided that none but Pat could have perpetrated this; so Pat grins, suggests that a bill poster be secured at once, and proceeds:—

"How would you like to be a cat?
In Timbuctoo each stern ascetic,
Though blind to folly as a bat,
Revels in love peripatetic
Which makes him nimble as a cat
But though I'm fond of such agility,
I better like the busy bees,
For they display so much ability
They 'mind one of the Portuguese."

At this implied compliment to his people, the black eyes of the foreign student flash approval; and the Mathematician speaks up, saying, "That is the Philosopher, sure, and proves the truth of the saying, 'A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.'" The Philosopher smiles benignantly, but does not deny the charge; and the reader continues:—

"What do you think of the Ormthorhynchus?
My brain's in a 'muss'
From thinking of this 'cuss'
(Excuse me for using such a word).
If it lived at Nahant
With this heat it would pant,
For surely't is a curious bird.
You may think me a 'muff',
And declare I talk stuff,
But I hope you'll not doubt my word.
For though out in all weathers
Its coat's not of feathers
But of fur,—at least so I've heard.
But 'by this illumination'
(Kant's ratiocination?)
'I don't see it,' though it may seem quite absurd."

The company, strange to say, hit upon Elsie for this, and are evidently surprised that one so given up to pomps and vanities should display such knowledge of natural history; but they evidently suspect her of shining by reflected light, as she sits next to the Philosopher; and I heard her ask him a question about this animal with the jaw-breaking name. By this time the party have become so brilliant, having polished each other up as by diamond cutters' wheels, that it is "moved and seconded" that we "try again". The laughter has brought down the Chemist from the laboratory, the Fisherman from his den; besides rousing the Astronomer, who scintillates in the corner to such a degree that all others expect to be totally eclipsed. This time the Fisherman, who is also an amateur gardener and farmer on a small scale, draws an appropriate question, in regard to which he enlightens us as follows; and what he says must be true, as we know he has had experience with pigs and hens:—

"Which knows most, a pig or a hen?
'Tis hard to tell in rustic rhyme
What pigs or hens may know.
A cabbage-head in olden time
Sure knew enough to grow.
If Balm and corn to them were thrown
By parsimonious Bill
I think the fact would then be shown,
For Piggy'd eat his fill."

Next comes the Chemist with the question:—

"Do you like peanuts?
Peanuts are double,
And so is the trouble
Involved in effort
To answer it.
Hand over a few,
And see if I do
Not like peanuts
Better than Sanskrit"

Any one who had heard the Chemist warbling,—

"He who hath good peanuts and gives his neighbor none,
He sha'n't have any of my peanuts when his peanuts are gone,"