The Adventures of a Marmotte / Sold for the Distressed Irish

by Eliza Grey

My present owner told him to take me and sell me for the highest price he could get. Though delighted to escape from the miserable cellar where I had been confined, still I could not endure the idea of quitting my own country, and perhaps never again seeing dear José; I wept, screamed, whistled, and bit, but all to no purpose. The journey to Paris was very long and uninteresting, to me at least, who could see nothing, travelling in a covered basket; and as I am sure my little readers are impatient to arrive at a large town, I will take them immediately to Paris; that great and wonderful city, where there are always so many amusing things to be seen.

I had every opportunity of enjoying all the novelties and curiosities which the Champs Elysées, the Boulevards, and the streets present to a stranger; for the little Swiss, who had brought me over, treated me very kindly, and used to lead me all about with a little red collar round my neck, from which was suspended a long chain that fastened round his arm.

What amused me most of all the wonderful things which I saw, was an exhibition called Punch. Those of my little friends who have never seen it, will, I am sure, be highly delighted when they have the good fortune to make the acquaintance of this amiable gentleman, who gives his life and adventures in a most spirited manner, under the form of a delightful little moveable theatre, of which he is the principal actor.

We arrived just in time to see the carnival; a fête at which people of all ages amuse themselves by dressing in different ridiculous costumes, as my little friends I dare say often do, and parading the streets and public walks, some in carriages, some on horseback, and some on foot.

While accompanying my Master to the Boulevards, where the best masks (for so they call these ridiculous figures) are to be seen, I was—must I own it, naughty enough to be highly amused by a misfortune which happened to a poor little girl while crossing one of the gutters which run through the middle of the streets in Paris; she was very smartly dressed, in a pink muslin frock, yellow handkerchief, blue bonnet, and bright scarlet shoes, which were so tight for her, she could hardly walk, but went rolling from one side to another. When she arrived at the gutter, unable to jump across from the pain which these tight shoes made her suffer, her foot slipped, and she tumbled in. Poor little girl; though I could not help laughing at this misfortune, still I pitied her; for perhaps, after all, it was not her fault that she wore such tight shoes and was so oddly dressed.

On the Boulevards we saw a number of very curious figures, some dressed as harlequins, and others as columbines, &c. &c. But there was one which greatly astonished and amused me; it was a beautiful monkey, much larger than any I had ever before seen, mounted on a little pony which it trotted up and down, looking as it passed into all the carriages, through a large spy glass, at the same time making the most hideous grimaces, and using its tail instead of a whip to hurry its pony on. Judge of my surprise, when I heard an old woman near me explaining to a little girl, who was rather alarmed by the near approach of this animal, that it was not really a monkey, but a man dressed up as one! I could hardly believe her, but I suppose it was true.

My attention was soon attracted by a pretty looking girl, riding, not as I had always seen people ride, but with her face towards the horse’s tail. I was very much shocked, for I fancied it must be some naughty child, placed there as a punishment; and soon after meeting two or three more riding in the same manner, I thought they must be school girls, who, having all committed the same offence, had therefore received the same punishment; but I afterwards discovered they were not girls, but a set of little boys dressed up in girls’ clothes, and that they rode so for their own amusement.

I was very fond of walking up and down the Champs Elysées in an evening, when it was crowded with gay company, there were always so many things to see; and I was so delighted with the attentions paid me by the dear children who used to be running about, with cheerful happy faces and merry laughter.

We one day took a ride in a ship,—“A ride!” I think I hear you say, “how could that be?” but such was the case, for we had neither sails nor water to sail upon, but were in a kind of seat called, from its shape, a vessel, which went round and round so fast that I became quite giddy. As I was exhibiting my tricks to three or four smiling children, an old English lord, attracted by my cleverness, asked the little boy if he would sell me; and I was much distressed to hear him answer that he would willingly, if he could get enough for me. “And what do you call enough?” said the Englishman, “if I were to give you a napoleon, (a piece of French money, which is not worth quite seventeen shillings) would you be satisfied?” “Oh dear yes, and it is much more than I ever expected to get for this poor little animal,” presenting me to the old Lord, who told the boy to take me to number — Rue St. Honore. He accordingly carried me there in great glee, but was, I think, like myself, rather sorry when he wished me good bye. I was very much astonished at the magnificence of the house where I now was; but what surprised me most was, on entering the drawing-room after the old gentleman’s return, to see what I supposed to be three or four other Marmottes; when I moved they moved, when I stood still they did so also: delighted to find some animals like myself, I ran scampering up to one of them, when, instead of finding a little Marmotte, I hit my head against something very hard, reeled, and fell back: on getting up, however, I still saw the same objects, and was again advancing towards one of them, when the old Lord taking me in his arms, carried me to what I have since discovered to be a large mirror, when I perceived, that what I had taken for another Marmotte, was only the reflection of myself. But I had no time to think how very odd this was, (though I wished very much to have sent a looking-glass to my father and mother, as I am quite sure they never saw one) for the old gentleman’s little grandson came running in, and seizing me in his arms, scampered away to shew me to his sister; and I really thought they would have pulled me in pieces, for both insisted upon having me to play with: however this sport was put an end to by the arrival of a funny-looking old gentleman, with a white head, who I soon found was a dancing-master; and my little readers cannot think how delighted I was when these young people began to dance, to the sound of a beautiful instrument called a kit, (not a kitten) which made the most charming noise I ever heard. The little girl began by making a low curtsy, and the little boy a bow; then off they set, and seemed to me to be trying which could jump highest. I forgot my miseries; and José having taught me to jump also, I ran into the middle of the room and capered and frisked about in the highest glee; the children clapping their hands and screaming with delight, whilst the old gentleman could hardly go on with the tune for laughing; till at last he could resist it no longer, and began to jump as high as any of us. We were all frisking about when the door opened, and the old Lord entered: he laughed heartily at the fun, and at last consented to be of the party, to please his darling grandchildren. At first he was, I confess, rather stiff; but this soon wore off, and he capered better than any of us, making a charming noise with his fingers; but at last when he was taking an immense jump into the air, his large wig fell off, and I being just where it came, received it on my back! I really thought the little party would have died with laughing at seeing me scampering round the room with this large white wig on, like a cloak, shaking a cloud of dust from it (called powder) at every jump I took: though I was nearly blinded by it, and I confess terribly frightened at first, yet when I found it would not hurt me, I did not so much mind. However standing still at last, the children took me up in their arms, saying I was the most delightful animal they had ever seen; far more amusing than Jacko, the monkey. Their grandpapa procured another wig, and then they all went to dinner, when I was greatly charmed at the beautiful dress of the two servants, who had on coats of red cloth, with a great quantity of gold lace upon them. I thought this Lord must be a very rich man to put his gold upon his servants’ coats, instead of putting it into his pocket; and if I could have spoken, I should have asked him to give me a little to send to José and his mother. As a reward for my dancing, the children said I should have a large apple all to myself; and you cannot think my dear little friends howl liked it,—but, Oh! I thought I should have died with fright when the door opened and in came a large dog with Jacko, the monkey, riding on his back. The moment he saw me he jumped on the ground, chattering in the most frightful manner, and grinning so as to shew all his teeth. He came fiercely up to where I was eating my apple, and before I knew what he was going to do, snatched it from me: the footman seeing this, came to take it away, but Mr. Jacko, knowing he had done wrong, was too clever for him, and throwing the apple at the man’s head, hopped upon the table, and in a violent rage (seeing the grandpapa going to take hold of him) took up an orange in each paw, and threw them at the old gentleman. A violent uproar ensued, every body trying to catch the enraged monkey, who screamed and chattered in the most violent manner: cakes, oranges, apples, raisins, plums, figs, in short every fruit upon the table, was flying in the air, as the mischievous animal seized them in his paws, and threw them about in all directions. He had just got a plate in one paw, and a bottle of wine in the other, which he intended to send at the head of the old Lord, when fortunately one of the footmen, seeing the case was desperate, took a cushion from the sofa, with which he succeeded in knocking Mr. Jacko down. The man was desired to take him away and give him a good whipping, but it did him no good; for a day or two afterwards we were left in the drawing-room alone, and Mr. Jacko no sooner heard the door shut than he jumped up from his basket, where it was supposed he was fast asleep, and looked round the room to see what mischief he could be at. He first leaped upon a table where there were some beautiful prints, and unfortunately there was also an inkstand: well, Jacko peeped into this, and thinking, I suppose, what it contained would be good to drink, took hold of it in his paw and put it to his mouth, but spit it all out again a great deal faster than he had swallowed it. In a violent passion he threw the inkstand down upon the table, and the ink poured all over the beautiful prints. He then saw a large china vase full of lovely flowers, and instantly went to take one out, to smell I suppose, but it not coming as easily as he wished, he gave a violent pull, and down went the beautiful vase, which was broke in a thousand pieces. Seeing all this mischief, I thought I would try and make somebody hear, so I whistled as loud as I could, for which I was rewarded by his throwing a book at me with such force that it knocked me down; after this, the ticking of a clock caught his attention, and hopping on to the table where it stood, he tapped at the glass which covered it, very gently at first, but at last in such a rage that it broke! But this time he was punished, for the broken glass cut his foot, and, screaming with pain, he ran about the room spoiling every thing he touched with his bleeding paw: at last he saw the little girl’s basket lying on a chair, and going up to it, thinking I suppose there was something inside which he wished to eat, gently put his paw in: at first he did not venture to poke it low enough to get whatever it was that he wanted, but being too impatient to give up the attempt, he stuffed his head in so fast, that he remained with the basket sticking on it like a hat, so far over his eyes that he could not see. I never saw such a rage as he was in; he ran about the room thumping against all the chairs and tables, and must have hurt himself very much: however a servant coming in caught hold of Mr. Jacko, and carried him away to chain him up. The old Lord was so angry when he saw the mischief he had done, that he gave him away directly. I liked my little Masters exceedingly; for though they did pull me about, yet they never hurt me.

Soon after these events we all left Paris for England; in a great machine on four wheels, called “The Family Coach.” I travelled inside on little Lucy’s knee, and slept nearly all the way. How astonished I was on opening my eyes, after a long nap, to see at Boulogne an enormous quantity of water all collected together, so much, that I could not perceive any land, but beautiful blue waves for miles and miles. Whilst changing horses, we walked down to the sands, and saw some little boats come in, full of different sorts of fish, which their owners had caught in the sea, for that is what they call the great body of water which so much astonished me. I thought it very cruel to kill all those pretty fish, which must have feelings like myself; but they told me that almost all the poor people there lived upon them.