Even if you are a provincial New-Yorker, give up calling the door-step or porch by the ancient Dutch name of “stoop,” (stoep,) and do not talk of going out on the stoop, or sitting in the stoop. When a load of wood or coal is put down at your door, say not that it is “dumped.” Never speak of visiting friends that “live to Brooklyn,” or “live to Newark.” They live at those places, not to them. The word “muss” sounds badly, when a young lady says, “her scarf is mussed,” or her collar is “mussed”—or that her bureau drawers are all in a muss. The English synonyme, “mess,” has rather a better sound. Be it also remembered that a stool is not a bench. A bench holds several people, a stool but one.
When you mean that an article of dress (a bonnet or a cap) is neat and pretty, do not say that it is cunning. An inanimate object cannot be cunning. To be cunning requires some mind. We are sorry to say that we have heard females who, when they intend to be witty, talk of taking a snooze, (which means a nap,) and speak of a comic anecdote as being “rich,” and of a man in faded clothes as looking “seedy.” We have heard Philadelphia ladies speak of a “great big” house, or a “great big” ship; and there are still some who expect what has already come to pass—as, “I expect it rained somewhere last night”—“I expect she arrived yesterday”—“I expect he went to Baltimore.” In all these cases the proper term is “I suppose,” and not “I expect.”
The word “mayhap” (instead of perhaps) is a positive vulgarism. It is of English origin, but is only used in England by very low people—and by English writers, never.
We have little tolerance for young ladies, who, having in reality neither wit nor humour, set up for both, and having nothing of the right stock to go upon, substitute coarseness and impertinence, (not to say impudence,) and try to excite laughter, and attract the attention of gentlemen, by talking slang. Where do they get it? How do they pick it up? From low newspapers, or from vulgar books? Surely not from low companions?
We have heard one of these ladies, when her collar chanced to be pinned awry, say that it was put on drunk—also that her bonnet was drunk, meaning crooked on her head. When disconcerted, she was “floored.” When submitting to do a thing unwillingly, “she was brought to the scratch.” Sometimes “she did things on the sly.” She talked of a certain great vocalist “singing like a beast.” She believed it very smart and piquant to use these vile expressions. It is true, when at parties, she always had half a dozen gentlemen about her; their curiosity being excited as to what she would say next. And yet she was a woman of many good qualities; and one who boasted of having always “lived in society.”
We think that gentlemen lose a particle of their respect for young ladies who allow their names to be abbreviated into such cognomens as Kate, Madge, Bess, Nell, &c. Surely it is more lady-like to be called Catharine, Margaret, Eliza, or Ellen. We have heard the beautiful name Virginia degraded into Jinny; and Harriet called Hatty, or even Hadge.
A very silly practice has been introduced of writing Sally, Sallie—Fanny, Fannie—Mary, Marie—Abby, Abbie, &c. What would our grand-parents have thought of Pollie, Mollie, Peggie, Kittie, Nancie? Suppose young men were to adopt it, and sign themselves, Sammie, Billie, Dickie, Tommie, &c.!
By-the-bye, unless he is a relation, let no young lady address a gentleman by his christian name. It is a familiarity which he will not like.
CHAPTER XVII.
BORROWING.
Any article you are likely to want on more than one occasion, it is better to buy than to borrow. If your own, you can have it always at hand: you will lay yourself under no obligation to a lender, and incur no responsibility as to its safety while in your possession. But when you do borrow, see that the article is speedily returned. And, under no consideration, take the liberty of lending it to any person whatever, before restoring it to the owner. Apologies and expressions of regret are no compensation, should it be out of your power to replace it if injured or lost.