We have shown in the preceding investigation that the control of the sexual passion and its guidance by Reason—which we name Virtue—is of fundamental importance; that it is essential to individual health, to the happiness of the family, to the purity of Society, and the growth of a strong nation. Virtue, therefore, is desirable. It remains to consider whether it be practicable. No vagueness or doubt should exist in relation to fundamental principles of education. Methods may change; no inflexible rule can be laid down. Enlarging experience, enlightened by love, will vary infinitely the adaptations needed in the education of infinitely varied children, but the aim of education should not vary. Sound knowledge, as well as a steadfast faith and hope, must guide every intelligent parent from the beginning of family life, or confusion, perplexity, and endless difficulties will be added to the inevitable difficulties of education.
One of the most serious questions to be understood and practically answered by parents in the education of their sons is this: If in relation to sex Chastity be the true moral aim of a young man’s education, can it be secured without injury to his health? Is morality an advantage to the health of young men?[32] It is impossible to over-estimate the importance of this question, both to men and women. It touches the most vital interests of both. The family, the relations of husband and wife, the education of children, the rules and customs of society, and the arrangements of practical life will directly depend upon, or be affected by, the answer which we give to the question, Is virtue an advantage to all human beings? Can one moral law exist for all?
Truth must always be accepted. No personal prejudice, no habit of education, must stand in the way of clearly established truth. It is the greatest sin we can commit to try to believe a lie because the truth seems unpleasant, difficult, or contrary to prejudices. If it be true that chastity is a right thing for women, but a wrong thing for men, then the truth, with all its consequences, must be accepted. If, however, this statement be false—if it be a prejudice of education, a result of evil customs, the most fruitful source of misery to the human race—then the truth, with all its consequences, must equally be accepted. In seeking truth on this subject it is indispensable to examine its practical aspect closely, to study the facts on which existing customs are based, and disentangle the confused web of truth and falsehood, out of which has grown the present widespread belief that a young man cannot lead a chaste life to the age of twenty-five without injury to his health.
That some limit to the indulgence of natural instinct is necessary in both sexes will be evident from the early age at which the sexual movement commences, as well as from the length of time required for its completion. It is not only in children of twelve and fourteen that this instinct is already strongly marked, it may be observed at a much earlier age. Numberless instances of juvenile depravity come under the observation of the physician, and such gross cases are only exaggerations of the refined instincts veiled by modesty and self-respect, which are gradually growing in all healthy children. That this mental instinct tends to express itself in the unformed bodies of children corrupted by evil example, we have only too abundant proof. A chronic evil of boarding-schools, of asylums, and of all places where masses of children are thrown together without wise moral supervision, is the early habit of self-abuse. Long before the boy or girl is capable of becoming a parent, this dangerous habit may be formed. It is not necessarily the indication of a coarse nature. It is observable in refined, intellectual, and even pious persons, as a habit carried on from childhood, when it was begun in ignorance, or taught, perhaps, by servants, or caught from companions. Many a fine nature in both man and woman has been wrecked, by the insidious growth of this natural temptation, into an inveterate habit. The more common result, however, of this vicious practice is a premature stimulation of the sexual nature, which throws youth of both sexes either into habits of early licentiousness or into a morbid condition of mental impurity. An experienced physician[33] writes: ‘The earliest and most frequent cause of disorder of the generative apparatus is the practice of self-abuse, the tendency to which is strongest about the age of puberty.... Excitement is increased by the conversation and thoughts which are indulged in, and it is apt to be unchecked by the moral control which has not yet acquired its proper influence. Moreover, lads are often induced to the pernicious practice by their companions, who may be as ignorant as themselves of the wrong and mischief they are doing. It would be a very good thing if those who have the charge of boys were less scrupulous in giving warning upon this matter. Much trouble and anxiety might be spared by timely advice seriously and kindly given.... An extensive acquaintance, through years with those who have just come from our schools, has impressed the importance of this matter upon me.’
Dangers thus existing which may threaten the youngest child, the necessity of guidance, the formation of good habits, and the inculcation of self-respect even in childhood is evident. At an early age self-control can be taught. It is a principle which grows by exercise. The more the brain asserts its power of Will over the automatic actions of the body, the stronger may become the control of reason over sensations and instincts.
The neglect of children at this early age is a direct cause of the corruption of the next stage of life. The lad of sixteen or seventeen is in the first flush of early manhood. He is physically capable of becoming a father, although entirely unfit to be so. Some years are required to strengthen his physical powers. The advantage of the self-control of absolute chastity at this period of life is unquestionable; every physiologist will confirm this statement. But chastity is of the mind as well as of the body. The corruption of the mind at this early age is the most fruitful source of social evil in later life. The years from sixteen to twenty-one are critical years for youth. If purity of life and the strength of complete self-control can then be secured, there is every hope for the future. Every additional year will enlarge the mental capacity, and may confirm the power of Will. The strong man is able to take the large views of sex, its uses, aims, and duties, which are considerations too abstract for the child-man, impelled by bewildering sensations. If at this early age he falls, he is too often lost. Physical passion, which reaches its maximum (roughly speaking) at twenty-seven, can only be controlled and exalted if, at the age when chastity is a positive physical benefit, the great mental principle of self-control has gained mastery over the nature. If at this period the power of Will has been gained to retain self-respect and resist temptation, such habit of self-government is the safeguard of youth. It is the only foundation on which the early years of life can be safely based, the only way by which those habits of virtue can be established which strengthen the constitution and enable it to grow into the fullest vigour of manhood. If, however, the child has been injured by habits or associations which produce precocity and irritability of function, he will inevitably fall into vice in the earliest years of manhood; his power of resistance is gone, and every temptation drags him down.
One of our ablest surgeons has left on record the following weighty advice:[34] ‘The boy has to learn that to his immature frame every sexual indulgence is unmitigated evil. Every illicit pleasure is a degradation to be bitterly regretted hereafter.... If a boy is once fully impressed that all such indulgences are dirty and mean, and, with the whole force of his unimpaired energy, determines he will not disgrace himself by yielding, a very bright and happy future is before him.... Where, as is the case with a very large number, a young man’s education has been properly watched, and his mind has not been debased by vile practices, it is usually a comparatively easy task to be continent, and requires no great or extraordinary effort, and every year of voluntary chastity renders the task easier by the mere force of habit.... It is of vital importance that boys and young men should know, not only the guilt of an illicit indulgence of their dawning passions, but also the danger of straining an immature power, and the solemn truth that the want will be an irresistible tyrant only to those who have lent it strength by yielding; that the only true safety lies in keeping even the thoughts pure.... It is easier to abstain altogether than to be occasionally incontinent, and then continent for a period.... If a young man wished to undergo the acutest sexual suffering he could adopt no more certain method than to propose to be incontinent, with the avowed intention of becoming continent again when he had “sown his wild oats.” The agony of breaking off a habit which so rapidly entwines itself with every fibre of the human frame is such that it would not be too much to say to any youth commencing a career of vice: “You are going a road on which you will never turn back. However much you may wish it the struggle will be too much for you. You had better stop now. It is your last chance.”’
Our early neglect of youth is, then, one of the great causes of social immorality. The most earnest thought of parents should be given to the means of securing influences which will strengthen and purify their children in the early years of life. Evil outward temptations abound, but they must not be allowed to exercise their effects unchecked; they must be counteracted by more powerful influences for good.
The physical growth of youth, the new powers, the various symptoms which mark the transition from childhood into young manhood and womanhood, are often alarming to the individual. Yet this important period of life is entered upon, strange to say, as a general rule, without parental guidance. Parents shrink from their duty. They have failed to become their children’s confidential friends. In every other respect the physical and mental wants of their children are attended to. Suitable food is provided, and the various functions of digestion and assimilation carefully watched; the healthy condition of the skin, of the muscles, of all the various functions of the body provided for, and intellectual education carried on, but the highest physical and mental function committed to the human being, whose guidance requires the wisest foresight, the most delicate supervision, is left to the chances of accident or the counsels of a stranger. Measureless evil results from the neglect of parents to fortify their children at this age.
Although direct and impressive instruction and guidance in relation to sex is not only required by the young, but is indispensable to their physical and moral welfare, yet the utmost caution is necessary in giving such guidance, in order that the natural susceptibilities of the nature be not wounded. It is a point on which youth of both sexes are keenly sensitive, and any want of tact in addressing the individual, or any forcible introduction of the subject where the previous relations of parent and child have not produced the trust and affectionate mutual respect which would render communication on all serious subjects of life a rational sequence in their relations, may do harm instead of good. Where the conscience of the parent has only been awakened late in life to this high duty to the child, the attempt to approach the subject with the young adult is often deeply resented by both boy and girl. In such cases the necessary counsel may be better given by a stranger—by the physician, who will speak with acknowledged authority, or by some book of impressive character, when such a one (much needed) shall have been prepared. That this is a very imperfect fulfilment of parental duty is true, but it is often all that the parent can attempt where the high and important character of sex has not been understood at the outset of family life, and thus not guided the past education of the children.