Frank—Yes.
Spankety Man—Spanking done every Friday. One spank for each point. Settlement every New Year’s Day, at so much a hundred. Discount for specially naughty ones. Want to open an account?
Frank—No.
Alice—We wouldn’t want Papa and Mamma spanked; nor Gram, either. The idea!
Spankety Man—You’ll spoil’em, Ma’am, spoil’em. Better patronize me. It’s necessary, I assure you.
Alice—No, indeed.
Derf—Tum, sing your song, and get to work. Marg’s awful bad.
Spankety Man (sings) Tune: “Michael Roy.” (He beats time, and otherwise emphasizes his song, with one of his spankers.)
Oh, every Friday in there stalks
The Spankety, Spankety Man.