Wife. There’s no doubt That you’ll find them so, Hubby, if you try that trick Upon me again. Now you’ll just go right quick And mend that wheelbarrow, and take me to town, And buy a new bonnet, and likewise a gown.
Bachelor. But I can’t, my dear love. I have spent all my cash On the wedding.
Wife. Oh, why was I ever so rash As to trust my new clothes to that wabbly wheelbarrow Where the lanes were all muddy and terribly narrow!
Jack. Next time, little woman, just use your own feet And hold up your gown, if you want to keep neat.
Old Woman. Yes, Shanks’ mare is safest. I travel that way. I don’t trust my old bones to wheelbarrow or shay.
Wife. Well, as soon as he earns it, he’ll buy me a gown And a bonnet as well. There now, Hubby, don’t frown. Of course you expected to give me your cash, Or else why get married?
Bachelor. Oh, dear! I was rash. I got me a wife just to keep my house nice, To cook me my dinner, to drive off the mice, To sew on my buttons, and sing o’er each task. I didn’t suppose she for money would ask! Must I give it to her, Mother Goose?
Mother Goose. Why, of course.
Jack. Don’t you do it, old fellow. Spunk up and be boss!
Wife. Spunk up and be boss! Pretty good, Jacky dear, When you know that your twin leads you round by the ear.