Taking the Census: A Farce

by Elizabeth F. Guptill

Mr. C. (Opening book.) What is your husband’s name?

Mrs. J. Gawge Washin’ton Pompey Caesar Johnsing.

Mr. C. Born?

Mrs. J. Co’se he war bohn! Yo’ don’ t’ink he growed on a melon vine, does yer?

Mr. C. I mean, where and when was he born?

Mrs. J. In his daddy’s cabin, in watermillion time.

Mr. C. Where was his daddy’s cabin?

Mrs. J. In de quahtahs, on ole Massa Johnsing’s place, down in Souf Ca’liny.

Mr. C. Before the war?

Mrs. J. Shuah. De yeah dey took Fort Sumter. I disremembah de numbah.