He goes on to say that he realises how much love and devotion she puts into her work, but how useless it is when she is unsupported.
“Weigh the matter well before this Christmas,” he continues, “and if you find no changes are made, the same cold management continued, send in your resignation.”
Then the affectionate father concludes:—
“I cannot contemplate your not coming up at Christmas. As we grow older each year makes us more desirous of the company of those we love; perhaps, because we feel how soon we shall part with it altogether; perhaps, because we are become more selfish, but such is the fact.”
The six members of the Committee apparently consented with some reluctance to hear Dorothea, but she did get a hearing and brought her chief objections before them. The experience was not so trying as she had anticipated, and the Committee appeared fairly conciliatory. She explained—in speaking of the absence of prizes—that by this term she meant rather distinctions, privileges, and opportunities of doing good. She offered to resign, but the Committee said, “Oh, no, certainly not”. And she came away feeling that her efforts might have some good result.
Few people, whether individuals or collective bodies, can endure criticism, and Dorothea Beale’s complaints seem to have caused a great deal of discomfort in her relationship with those connected with Casterton. This was increased very much by a suspicion that she was not orthodox according to the evangelical low-church point of view. She was considered “high,” and was suspected of holding extreme views about baptismal regeneration, one of the storm centres of religious controversy at this time. This caused even one of her chief friends on the Committee to wish her to leave.
With the tenacity of purpose that characterised her through life, she tried to believe that it was right for her to stay and fight the difficulties at Casterton. Gradually, however, the impossibility of doing so became evident, and she wrote to her father:—
“I do not see how it is possible to do much good. I may work upon a few individuals, but the whole tone of the school is unhealthy, and I never felt anything like the depression arising from the constant jar upon one’s feelings caused by seeing great girls professing not to care about religion.”
She suggested that she should send in her resignation, and her father replied at length, giving her advice as to how to approach the Committee, and again writing words of cheer:—
“Above all things take care of your health.... I am quite sure that you have a long course of usefulness before you. The flattering regard in which you are held at Queen’s College, and the constant means you always have in London of constantly improving yourself, must teach you somewhat of your own value. Though I would not indeed presume upon it further than to give you confidence to act rightly.”