and only a few intimate friends knew what she suffered at this time.
A few extracts from her journal at this time show something of the ups and downs of her illness, and the courage with which she fought what at first she did not realise to be illness. Her diary of 1878 contains many such entries as:—
February 26.—I have idled away precious time, neglected individual work. Because my own will is weak I could not strengthen [another].
February 27.—In bed all day. There are duties still undone though I see death near.
February 28.—Not in college. Much time wasted and [I was] disobedient to the voice of duty.
March 15.—A little more work for my children to-day. I thank Thee for some help. May I consecrate time and energies to Thee.
April 5.—Tried, but not successfully, with my Confirmation children. Feeling too ill to do well. Thy Will be done.
In 1882 she passed through a time of great darkness and depression, but she finally won through as one of her indomitable spirit was bound to do.
When this experience had passed Dorothea Beale had changed. Her religion had become more spiritual; her knowledge of other souls more intimate; her desire to help those passing through similar experiences, intense. One of the immediate results of her time of difficulty was the starting of Quiet Days or Retreats for teachers at Cheltenham at the end of the summer term, alternatively with the biennial Guild meetings. To her, a teacher’s work was first and foremost spiritual; and she realised the need of times of refreshment and re-establishment in the faith for those who are continually “giving out”. The Quiet Days she established proved a great help to many teachers from all parts, and her letters to old pupils and others passing through times of difficulty reveal a great insight only given by personal experience.
To her friend, Miss Belcher, she wrote:—