The years went on. I felt I'd had my share of sorrow's pain,
So I banished every lingering thought that Death could come again.
But when we are the surest, child, 'tis then he seems to be
More vigilant than ever to proclaim his mystery,
As if he envied us an hour of joy's sweet company.
My husband first was stricken down; then came the added blow:
Two grown up sons, all settled with as fine a business show
As ever comes to mortals, were cut down in prime of life,
Having just begun to free me from the circumstances rife,
Which boded of the bitterness of poverty's dread strife.
My soul was then so mystified, so dazed before God's will,
That I could only find my voice in His calm words, 'Be still.'
Oh, could I not been spared this stroke, known one less bitter pain,
And been as good for duties here, as fit for heaven's reign?
Was this the way, the only way, eternal life to gain?
It cannot be much longer. I shall soon have crossed the sea,
To the home my soul's been building all these years of mystery.
I've had my share of sorrow, but I've done the best I could.
God knows I've tried through all to grow more patient, wise, and good;
To get at least this out of life, as every mortal should.
But, though I've had his comfort, and still hear his sweet 'Endure,'
I feel the bitter heartache which no time or sense can cure.
My friends have all been laid away, my work long since was o'er,
And now I'm only waiting for Death's landing on the shore.
I hope 'twill be at sunset when he knocks at my soul's door;
For, somehow, it much easier seems to go the unknown way
Attended by the beauty of the sun's last glorious ray.
But as I calmly wait and think, it does seem rather queer
That what you 'blessed angel' call has seemed my chief curse here.
Alas! how much we suffer before God's ways appear."
[DOES IT PAY?]
Does it pay—all this burden and worry,
All the learning acquired with pain,
All the planning and nervous wild action,
The restlessness following gain,
Does it pay?
To be free from this burden and worry,
To have knowledge without fear and pain,
To be peaceful, far-seeing, sweet tempered,
And calm in the presence of gain,
We must know the pure secret of Nature,
Like her be obedient to law,
And work in the light of the promise
Of blessed results Christ foresaw.
Then each day,
And alway,
Life will pay.