‘July 1880.
‘It seems to me you have failed in trying to keep the first commandment, and so of course in the others. “Thou shalt worship the Lord Thy God and Him only shalt Thou serve.” You see it is not when we feel inclined; when we can realise His presence, when we have plenty of spare time.
‘Then in your life and work has it not been that you have thought more of pleasing others, of doing work, of being so laborious, so useful, etc. etc., instead of serving Him, too much of being well thought of yourself. This often leads to greed of work: we do not say: “Lord, what wouldst Thou have me to do?” but, “I want to do this or that.”
‘Then as regards your public worship. Do not you think, if you told your father that you felt Church services more helpful, he would be less grieved that you should go to Church than go in deadness. He chose the Brethren because he felt his religious life quickened with them; would he not wish you to act in the same spirit? Could you not frankly talk it over with him?’
In 1881 Miss Beale wrote to urge Miss Arnold to attend some addresses Mr. Wilkinson was about to give:—
‘You will make some effort and some sacrifices, if necessary, to come, will you not, my dear child? Even the love of Miss —— for which you should give thanks, is a danger too, lest you should learn to look at yourself with the indulgence that we give to those we love, and do not see clearly the faults and failings. Mr. Wilkinson does help to show how much ground there is for humility.’
To the same:—
‘1882.
‘Your letter grieves me very much, just as the painful illness of one I love would; because you have to go through it; but it is right, if you go through it rightly, seeking the truth. Only one cannot in a letter, nor in a little while, nor off-hand deal with these difficulties. As in every science, thought, and earnest labour, and aspiration, and desire are necessary if we would find truth; so in religion, the knowledge of absolute wisdom and goodness, which transcends all we can know, there must be a deep devotion to truth, which spares no pains in the search.
‘Will you begin with a simple and clear book first,—I noticed it in the last Magazine,—by Godet. It is translated by Canon Lyttelton. I think it shows conclusively the fact of our Lord’s resurrection, and with that goes the testimony of miracles, not as wonders but as signs. When you have got thus far, you will find, I trust, the repulsion to the supernatural element diminished, if it exists in you. Don’t ever let yourself say, “We can’t know.” We can know enough to believe and trust in God’s goodness, and one must go on seeking by prayer, thought, obedience, very, very patiently, and then through eternity one will draw nearer and nearer.