My letter to Mother Nazareth was as follows:
St. Eugene Hospital,
Cranbrook, B. C., April 3, 1912.Mother M. Nazareth,
Portland, Oregon.
Dear Mother:I have decided to leave the community. Will you please see about obtaining the dispensation of my vows. I have written to His Grace Archbishop Christie.
If authority is all that is necessary to constitute right, I think I can continue to save my soul better elsewhere, as that was what I took these obligations upon myself for. I am not tired of being a Sister of Charity, but I am more than tired of living it the way we have to do. I did not know until last summer that the spirit of a good religious and Sister of Charity meant to be the victim of evil reports, and that reports were for the satisfaction of the feelings of those in authority. I lay no claim to high perfection, but I cannot see virtue or religion in being taken advantage of as I was. I have always tried to do my best, but at last I see plainly that it is impossible to do enough or to sacrifice enough. The extreme cold has caused me systemic disturbance and the result is eye trouble. The doctor said it was the cold that did it.
Well, I do not want to refer to too much useless talk. I have made arrangements with a friend of mine for a home. But as I cannot expect anyone to take me in on absolutely nothing at my years, not being able to work any more like I did twenty-five years ago, I must have some little means, and I ask two thousand dollars which would be for my clothing and towards my support. With that amount and with what little I can do, I will have to manage somehow.
I wish to have things settled quietly, if possible, as I do not care to have publicity about this affair any more than the community I am leaving. I must have some means to go out on or I would not ask anything. As soon as I can get this little sum requested, I will leave the country.
Begging a remembrance in your prayers, and those of the community and wishing the community and every one of the sisters God's blessing,
Very sincerely and respectfully,
SISTER LUCRETIA,
S. C. S. P.
P. S.—I leave here at two p.m. My address, until I get away will be 0707 Toledo St., Spokane, Wash. If I can get the business part settled as soon as possible, I can move on. This same address will forward my dispensation whenever it can be sent to same.
Humbly yours, Sr. L.
CHAPTER XIII.
I Quit the Roman Catholic Church.
After I had signed and sent these two letters, copied in the preceding chapter, to the agents of the ecclesiastical system, I thought that I had declared the independence of my personal liberty and freedom. I had not the least intention of leaving the Church of Rome, as I still believed that it was the only true church, outside of which there was no salvation. But before many weeks had passed, conditions so shaped themselves, through the persecutions of Rome's representatives, that I decided that the liberty and freedom I hoped to have gained by leaving the convent, was not to be found even in the church.
I arrived in Spokane at nine o'clock on the evening of April 3, 1912, and went direct to the home of Mrs. Kearney. She received me very cordially and we had a long talk before retiring. This first night in the world was a long, sleepless one for me. Everything seemed reversed, so to speak, and my heart was heavy from the terrible ordeal I had endured for the last two days.
The following morning, April 4th, I discarded the burdensome garb, that great load of black serge, and donned a large-flowered kimona, the only other clothes I had, and this was given me. This was the first day since July 30th, 1881, that I had attired myself in any other than the garb of the Sisters of Charity of the Roman Catholic system—nearly thirty-one years. My hair, which was about long enough to hang in my eyes, I tied back with a pretty little red ribbon, which had been on a candy box.
On Monday, April 8th, Sister Matilda of St. Vincent's telephoned to me, saying that she was at the Sacred Heart Hospital with Mother Nazareth and asked me to come there to see them. When they could not prevail upon me to do so, they condescended to come to Mrs. Kearney's to see me.