A long Courtship ensued, the Particulars too tedious, only the Girl was a little more pliant than ordinary, but much doubting the integrity of his Protestations; alledging it was very unlikely he would debase himself to marry a Creature of her mean Fortune, for all she could at present challenge, except what her Father might do for her after his decease, was only a 100l. left her in her Father's hands by an Uncle deceas'd. Our Gallant presently with much disdain seem'd to slight all thoughts of her Fortune, for that, he thank'd Heav'n, he wanted not; and truly her dear Person was the only consideration that had fix'd his Heart intirely her Captive. To bring him to the happy point, 48 hours are not past, before he comes to reap the fair Fruit. The marriage-knot is tied; and the Nuptials consummated, and Joy and Felicity runs high between them.
In this happy State, and uninterrupted Delights, they continued some days, when of a sudden his old Servant, Tom, booted and spurr'd, comes to Ludlow, and now in a little higher station than before, in the garb and figure of one of his Bayliffs, he comes post thus far, first to tell him the Distraction of his Family occasion'd by his absense; 2dly, The Lady his Sister's sudden departure, God knows whither, for she went away by night two days before he set out from home, and has not been heard of since. And that a Letter was come from Bristol, intimating that his Venture in Sherry was safely landed there, and that the King's Customs came to 97l. but his Correspondent at Bristol being lately dead, the Custom was yet unsatisfied; and truly for his part none of the Tenants would pay him one Groat till they saw their Landlord again, and therefore he could not raise the Money to satisfy it. Our new Bridegroom hearing all this, presently communicates the whole matter to his sweet Bedfellow, desiring her to get her Father to accommodate him with that Sum; not that he ask'd it as any part of her Unkle's Legacy, he scorned to be so poor-spirited; no, he requested it as a Boon, and the Monies should speedily be repaid with Thanks: Which if he pleas'd to do for him, his Servant should fall down the Severn, and take care of his Wines, of which his dear Father-in-law should have one Hogshead to drink to her Hans in Keldar. The Daughter was a speedy and successful Embassadress, for the Money was presently laid him down in Gold, for the more ease of his Servant's carriage of it. Tom had not been two hours gone, but a Footboy in a very fine Livery brings him a Letter from his Sister, signifying her extreme Concern for his deserting his Affairs and Family, and that her Griefs and Disquiets had made her take a long Ramble to see him once more. And that she was now at Hereford, not daring to approach any nearer till she had his gracious Warrant and Permission, which she humbly upon her bended Knees intreated of him, with a great deal more passionate Courtship to him upon that Subject. Upon perusal of this Letter he seem'd to melt into a great deal of good nature and compassion for his dear Sister, insomuch that a Tear stood in his Eyes which his sweet Bride very kindly drank in a kiss. At length launching out into a great many tender Expressions towards his Sister, which Goodness his kind Bride much applauded and encouraged, throwing in many a kind word in her Sisters behalf; At last the Brother concluded he would be so civil to her, that since her extravagant Affection had brought her thus far to visit him, he would return her the Favour of Riding himself to Hereford to fetch her, if his kind Father would procure him a Horse. Ay, with all his heart. Nay, both Father and Daughter proffer'd to take the same Journey with him to pay their Respects to the young Lady, and attend upon her as part of her Train to Ludlow. No, by no means, replied our Spark; that was more than the Rules of Honour would allow: for his dear Bride, as his Wife, was a Person in Quality above her, and whatever Kindnesses she pleased to show her when at Ludlow, was in her free Power; but this complaisance was too great a Condescension, and consequently he beg'd her leave that the tenderness he had of her Honour might absolutely forbid her any such thought. And indeed his Father's was much the same Condescention, which he must likewise no way suffer.
The Father and Daughter both silenced with this Answer, acquiesced with his Reasons, as being much a more experienced Master of Ceremonies than they could pretend to; consenting to let him go alone only attended by the Sister's Page; in the mean while resolving to apply their officious Respects to this fair, tho yet unknown Relation another way, viz. in making a suitable preparation for her honourable Reception. But first a very stately Horse was borrow'd, one that a Collonel of the Guards had lately bid a lumping Sum for; with all Accoutrements answerable. And at mounting, our Cavalier whispering in his Father's ear, and telling him he had been long from home, and not knowing whether his remaining Stock might hold out to his present Occasions, he desired—— The Father would not hear out the Speech, but running up stairs presently, fetch'd down, and stole into his hand a silk Purse richly lined with Twenty Broad Pieces.
Our Squire thus every way obliged, after his due Conges all made, bids them all Farewel till tomorrow, and so prances off. Here let us leave the Father and Daughter as busy for the Credit of the Cause, as may be imagined, making all suitable Provision for tomorrow's Entertainment; the Kitchin, and Pantry, the Bed-Chamber, and the Court-Cubboard, must all appear in Splendour extraordinary.
And now to return to our Traveller: Heaven knows he had the misfortune to miss his way, for he never found Hereford, nor Sister. His Barb too found another Chapman than the Collonel of the Guards; for both Horse and Accoutrements all embargoed, and the dismounted Cavalier slipt into a Frize-Coat of his Man Tom's providing, who waited his coming, The Master, Page, and Tom, in a small prepared Vessel, troul'd down the Severn as fast as Tide and good Speed could carry them.
As we thunder'd down the Severn, one of our Strollers being at present useless, our Page (well rewarded for playing his part in the Farse) is dropt at Worcester, from whence we continue our Voyage to Bristol. Arrived there pretty late in a Summers Evening, 'tis not thought convenient to appear in any Dress whatever had been seen before at Ludlow, nor indeed to expose his Face, lest any Inquiry might be made there about him as a Sherry-Merchant, and so trunking up all his best Rayment, he gets himself new rigged at a Salesman's in a genteel Garb, but something modester than his Ludlow Bravery, and Tom and he next morning move off to Bath.
It fortunes here, that he Quarters at one of the great Inns, it being the beginning of the Summer, just before Bath time, where was a brisk Daughter of the house, about half way stage between 20 and 30. and consequently much inclinable manwards. A Girl that had had the Honour of many a slap cross the Mouth, and chuck under the Chin by Lords and Earls in her time, her Fathers honourable Guests at Bath season. Our most constant Lover of every new face, feels the old Itch again. Business he finds will thicken upon him, and therefore flusht with his late Successes, he resolves to throw out his winning hand as far as it will run.
But now to know what Portion this Damsel had, for without a spill of yellow Boys, naked White and Red has but indifferent Charms with him. This Intelligence was quickly made, without asking the question; for there was a Jest in the Family of one of the Drawers being Suitor there, who belike wanted a tite sum of 80l. to set up withal (a small Portion of hers formerly left her by a Grandfather, and now at use.) This Drawer forsooth was a Rival, but not an over-formidable one. For truly our Inn-keepers Daughter had so often been tickled with the Addresses of Quality, that (Foh!) her Fathers Drawer was scarce worthy to hold up her Train. A Gentleman, or nothing for her. Nay, if she has not the happiness to strike in for a Lease for Life at Bed and Board with some honourable Person, rather than dye in ignorance, keep a stale Maiden-head, and so lead Apes, she has long since resolved not to stand out at a lower game, and en'e admit a Tenant at Will to an Inmate of Fashion and Quality; and was grosly suspected she had tried the Constitution of her Body, under a load of Honour long before her present year of twenty five. But true or false, that's a small Blot, in her Scutchion.
Our Don John is absolutely captivated, and plies her home with all the Rhetorick that Love can afford. Our man Tom in the meanwhile but very modestly, is whispering amongst his Mates, the lower Tire of the Family, the Servants, what a Worthy Gentleman his Master is, being a Rich Norfolk Gentleman (a pretty large stride from Bathe) of 500 a year. This Narrative passes pretty well amongst the shallower pates, the Chamberlain, the Tapster, the Hostler, and the rest of the inferior Domesticks; but our hardfaith'd young Mistress of the house, whither bit before, or naturally not over-credulous, does as good as declare, That her Principles are to look before she leaps. Our Norfolk Suitor finds his Addresses very acceptable, but still with a reserve, Provided he be the Man he appears. He plainly sees, that the Girl, upon good Grounds is very pliable, but she's a little past the years of being dandled and kist out of her Reason: He or any man else (any Tooth good Barber) with Honour and Estate may go far with her; but Demonstration is the only Argument that must carry her Cause. As many years as she has lived (or at least past for) a Maid, she is not so hard set, but she can tarry till Substantial Testimony (as far off as Norfolk lies) can make out the Lands and Tenements, before she consents to an Inclosure. Our Spark therefore put to his last Trumps, finds this last a craggier and more difficult Enterprize than any he had ever yet encountred; however, thinking it a very great scandal to his Wit, to lie down before her, and shamefully for want of Ammunition, be forced to raise the Siege, he sets all his Brains at work for one last Mine to blow her up; or if that take not, he is resolved to quit the Field. In a day or two after, he begins to be Melancholly and indisposed; during this fit, he is very cold in his Love, and applies him to Religious Books, talks much of very odd Dreams he has had, till at last he takes his Bed. Physitians are sent for, whether they found any real indications of sickness or no, or acquiesced to his own Declaration of the Pains he felt, no Medicinal Application was wanting. His Distemper increasing, he desires a Man of Law to be sent for, accordingly a Scrivener of the Town is called, who draws up his Will, in which he gives away about Three Thousand pounds in several Legacies, leaving his Nephew his full and sole Executor. The Will is sealed up, and delivered to his Man Tom; and all the cognizance taken of his Mistress, is only 10l. to buy her Mourning. Next a Man of God is sent for, and all the necessary preparations for a Man of another World are made. His Conscience setled, and his Viaticum for his long Journey most devoutly furnisht. But it pleases Fate, or the Sick man rather, in some few days after, to give some small symptoms of amendment, and to shorten the matter, in Eight or Ten days time he is pretty well recovered, and the next talk is of fancying his own Native Norfolk Air for perfecting his Health; all this while the young Damsel, who, tho not call'd to the Will-making, knew all the Contents of it, and finding from all hands, the great uprightness and devotion of her humble Servant, could not fancy that so much Religion and Piety could be an Impostor, and therefore she doubted not in the least, but the Estate in Norfolk was unquestionable; and tho indeed her Prudence would still incline her to a full inquiry and satisfactory account, yet 'tis now too late, her cooling Admirer talks of speeding to London; and tho he professes he will leave his heart behind with her, She is afraid that new Faces and better Fortunes will soon shake her hold there, and therefore taking her Pillow upon the business, she resolves not to slip so favourable an opportunity, but to lay hold of the forelock, and take a good offer whilst she may have it: For with all her natural Pride, she considers her self but the Lees of a Tap; and 'tis not every Rich Gudgeon will bite at a Bait so blown, and so stale.
Her departing Lover still pressing for his Journey, the good-natur'd Girl watches the next amorous sally of her Gallant, and takes him at his word, and without asking advice, thinks her own wit sufficient, and in two days time enters into for better, for worse. The Town-Bells soon rung All Joy; and the best Hogshead in Daddy's Cellar run Claret. His Honourable Guest and Son-in-Law was the little Idol of all the Virgins of the Town, and the envied preferment of sweet Mrs. Betty had fill'd all Tongues; and scarce a Prayer offered up for a Husband, but Mrs. Betty's felicity was made the Pattern of their Devotion.