Love and Marriage

by Ellen Key

In judging of the position of affairs at the present moment we ought to remember that it is not only mothers-in-law but also daughters-in-law, not only the mistress of the house but also the cook, who would receive the franchise. But none of these groups seems inclined to regard the others as at present endowed with the greatest imaginable perfections—in private life! It may not, therefore, be too presumptuous if an outside observer should wonder whether it will be given to them to exhibit greater perfections in political life.

In a word, we must remember that developed women are not more numerous in proportion to the undeveloped than the former kind of men are to the latter. The same or other prejudices, self-interests, and stupidities, which on the part of men delay progress, will also stand in its way on the part of women. Just as one now sees herds of male “electoral cattle” in the wrong place, so will one see crowds of electoral hens—and the wrong place does not mean either the right or the left, but the place to which one is driven without personal choice and where one nevertheless remains without a feeling of shame.

Woman will, however, have the advantage of being able to learn from man’s mistakes, and she learns more quickly than he. But only the power of being one’s self active where one has the responsibility, and the right of deciding where one is to act, are educative. Developed women will naturally exhibit one-sidedness, like developed men; not until each sex comes forward with its own peculiarities will legislation and administration become universal. But universality is not yet connection. Whether one strums with one finger or with all ten on an instrument, this does not make music. Not until each finger does its work—and can play together with the others—does harmony result, whether one is speaking of instrumental or of social music.

Before social politics have replaced the politics of self-interest and class instinct, it is probable that the vital forces of many will be wasted, and among them those of many women, if in the meantime women enter political life. But neither the argument that women are too good, nor that they are too immature, will weigh heavily in keeping them from political work; for they will hasten development in the degree in which they preserve their worth; they will attain the maturity they lack in the degree in which they participate in development. Only by being used can tools be gradually adapted and perfected for what they have to do; only by performing its functions does the organ become developed for its purpose. And to this must be added the equally weighty argument that the women even now necessary for development are, no more than the men, to be found on one side only of a dividing line of money or birth or education. Only the great democratic principle—equal possibilities for all—involves in spite of its defects the best prospect of the right man or the right woman arriving in the right place. It is more important to the community that one man or woman through right of election or eligibility should reach the prominent position for which nature intended them, than that a hundred others should make mistakes as electors. Even if women are at first on the side of reaction—and in Sweden this would certainly be the case—their direct influence would nevertheless be less dangerous than their indirect and irresponsible influence is now; for there would be a possibility of their being convinced by public life that, as long as a dominant social and economical group maintains the conditions which make innumerable other members of society the victims of militarism and industrialism, of prostitution and alcoholism—so long will all social work be casting seed into the snow. But even if women did not allow themselves to be convinced, but only became a support to those at present in power, this still ought not to be a hindrance to their enfranchisement. Just as nothing makes us more persevering than working for justice, so there is no better evidence of the purity of our own claims than when we adhere to them in spite of our knowledge that their attainment will for a long time be to the advantage, not of ourselves, but of our opponents.

Everyone with eyes to see is more and more clearly aware that in our time new paths must be found. Women too are more and more frequently among those who see this, although the majority of women, by their ignorance, their lack of understanding, their petty aims, still place obstacles in the way of the pioneer work of their male kinsmen and fellow-workers.

But even among women fully conscious of the importance of social questions, there is little perception of their significance. This perception must be raised, but, above all, the idea of collective motherliness must be intensified, by fundamentally distinguishing it from that of benevolence. The latter may be justified in the individual case. But all social work, which is directed to the whole community, must aim at attaining so far in right-thinking that all well-doing may disappear. Collective motherliness must act more as an eternal subterranean fire and less as the soaring but soon burnt-out flame of a sacrifice. It is not enough that the instinct of mutual help and sympathy is more immediate in woman than in man. Just as affection is not sufficient for the care of children, if insight into the vital laws of the body and soul is lacking, so also do women need an understanding of the biology and psychology of society in order to fulfil their individual tasks in national economy, and to understand the problems which are summed up under the name of social organisation.

Only thus can sympathy with the victims of society lead women to an ever stronger opposition to the system which permits these sacrifices. They must thus begin—and that very soon—by obtaining power to restrict this, at any rate where it applies to the bringing-up of children and the education of the young; to places where women work or are brought to justice; where the sick and aged are cared for; where laws are made for all these. The majority of women—who are still on Christian ground—preach at the best charity as the duty of the favoured and patience as that of the unfortunate. But no more than the individual mother will be satisfied with charity for her own child, but will have full justice—which implies full possibilities of development, full satisfaction of wholesome needs, full employment of personal powers—even so will collective motherliness refuse to be satisfied with less on behalf of any child of the community.

Not until the idea of poor-law relief is exchanged for that of self-help, aided by society but without sacrifice of pride, not until charity is exchanged for justice, patience for assertion of rights, will there be a prospect for the many of an existence compatible with human dignity. We need not fear that the virtues of charity and patience will therefore disappear: everyone will doubtless have only too much daily use for them—not only towards God, but towards himself and his neighbour.

But as regards the life of the community their time is gone by—or at least will be so, in proportion as the belief in a fatherly providence above is exchanged for a knowledge of the power of human providence upon earth. When women’s brains and hearts begin to exercise this providence in such a way that their views of life and their social work no longer conflict with one another, then and not till then will these brains and hearts become a reforming force.

Now, for instance, the majority of women are afraid of socialism, as to which however only one opinion should prevail: that as a party policy in the near future it is the most indispensable motive power of development, while as a principle—when cleared of the mutually conflicting dogmas of different schools—in its widest meaning it expresses the ever firmer coalescence of society into an ever more intimate unity, in which the sincere assurance of the old hymn, “the good of one, the good of all,” will gradually be realised in and through the whole organisation of society. When this has made the fine image of the suffering of every member through that of one come true—then will the social State be attained.