“It's been bleedin' off and on for two days and nights,” said the husband.
“Did you try pretty hard to stop it?”
“Yes, sir, I tried everything I ever heerd tell of, and everything the neighbors wanted me to try, but it didn't do no good.”
“Open the door and sit here where I can have a good light to examine your nose by,” the doctor said to the patient. She brought her chair and the young man opened the door. As he did so there was a mad rush between the old man and his two daughters for the door opposite.
“Shet that door, quick!” the old man shouted, and it was instantly done. Mary looked around with frightened eyes. Had some wild beast escaped from a passing menagerie and was it coming in to devour the household? There was a swirl of ashes and sparks from the big fireplace.
“This is the blamedest house that ever was built,” said Mr. Haig.
“Who built it?” queried the doctor.
“I built it myself and like a derned fool went an' put the fireplace right between these two outside doors, so if you open one an' the other happens to be open the fire and ashes just flies.”
The doctor took an instrument from his pocket and proceeded with his examination.
“But there's a house back here on the hill about a mile that beats this,” said the old man.