Ten Degrees Backward

by Ellen Thorneycroft Fowler

"I remember there was a girl at Poppenhall who'd had a fine upstanding young man after her for years and years, and she couldn't so much as look at him, though all the other girls envied her for having such a handsome beau: but he lost an arm and got his face scarred in an accident down a coal-pit, and then she married him at once, and spent the rest of her life in looking after him and trying to take the place of his lost arm."

"A woman all over!" I remarked.

"And all the same, Master Reggie, I'm not such a woman as you seem to think—though I dare say I'm as weak as most of them if I'm taken the right way: but it was one thing to have Mr. Wildacre here when I felt it in my bones that he'd come between you and her dear young ladyship, and quite another to have him here when there is nobody to come between. It wasn't that I objected to Mr. Wildacre himself—far from it—any more than I objected to Miss Annabel, whom I'd had from a month old: but what I did say—and always shall say—is that it's best for married people to fight things out for themselves, without having any relations on either side to back them up. And I shall stick to this till my dying day, even if I was to hang for it!"

I had no intention of hanging my old nurse when she talked in this strain, but I had every objection to listening to her. So I closed the conversation by going out of the nursery.

Annabel came over to see Frank a few days after his arrival at Restham: but Ponty, who was paramount in the sick room, forbade her entrance. I had already perceived that my sister's despotic sway at the Manor was gradually being undermined, in secret and insidious ways, by the redoubtable Ponty, whenever a suitable opportunity presented itself.

"I'm not going to let Miss Annabel see Mr. Wildacre till he is stronger," my old nurse said: "she's no good in a sick room isn't Miss Annabel, being far too managing and interfering for invalids. And after all that poor young gentleman has gone through, it would be heathen cruelty to upset him still worse. Miss Annabel on the top of the Germans would be too much for anybody!"

"But Miss Annabel, as you call her, used to be so fond of Mr. Wildacre," I pleaded.

"Not after he crossed her will and ran off with her ladyship. You could put on the top of a threepenny-bit all Miss Annabel's love for them as don't do exactly as she tells them, and have room to spare. If she is as fond of Mr. Wildacre as she used to be, she can go on with it as soon as he is strong again, and able to stand her domineering ways; though there won't be much fondness to go on with, if I know Miss Annabel. But as long as he's ill, and in my charge, I can't have him bothered with nobody—not even with Deans and Chapters and all other dignities of the Church, including Miss Annabel. And so I tell you straight, Master Reggie."

And Ponty had her way, having found a secret supporter in my humble self.

As Frank under Ponty's care grew stronger, I saw more of him, and we gradually got into the way of talking naturally about my lost darling. He could not bear even yet to say much about his awful experiences during that terrible time at Louvain; but he repeated the story of how Fay had given her life to save another's after risking it for some time in order to tend the sick and wounded. And that made me love her all the more dearly, and mourn her all the more deeply.