“Sure, sure,” conceded Adolph again. “But you got to do something to make business, ain’t it? I gif premiums and I get discounts. There don’t nobody fool me very much.”
“Well, I’m taking no chances with either my job or the law,” announced Brown, “even if I wanted to sacrifice part of my legitimate commission. I’m offering you a policy in a first-class company on the same terms that we give them to all others, and that’s the best I can do. If you’re looking for an advantage over your neighbors, you’ll have to go elsewhere. The very first rule of straight business is to treat all alike.”
“Sure it iss,” returned Adolph. “Look at the railroads and the big shippers.” Again he winked wisely. “I bet you, your boss ain’t such a fool as you. Make the big money when you can, but don’t run avay from the little money. I gif you a chance for the little money because I’m smart; some other feller let you haf it all because he issn’t.”
Therein lay the measure of Adolph. It was beyond his comprehension that any man should treat all fairly: some one surely was “on the inside,” and his first thought in any transaction was to make a quiet “deal” with some interested party that would give him a trifling advantage over others. He was shrewd in a small and near-sighted way, and he had an idea that all men, except fools, looked at things as he did. He believed there was “graft” in everything. That being the case, it was the duty of a sharp man to get a share of it, even if, as in this instance, it only lessened his own expense somewhat. So Adolph Schlimmer went to see Brown’s boss, who happened to be Dave Murray.
“I get me some insurance,” he announced.
“All right,” returned Murray agreeably. “You look like a good risk.”
“Risk?” repeated Adolph. “No, nein. I’m a sure thing.”
Murray laughed.
“That’s bad,” he said banteringly. “Sure things are what men go broke on in this world; they’re the biggest risks of all.” Then, explanatorily: “I mean you seem to be in good physical condition, so that our physician is likely to pass you.”
“You bet you,” returned Adolph, “but it’s my vife what counts. If I die, I leaf her the money; if she die, she leaf me nothing.”