The Duchess being in her room, not ready, I received them at the door, and followed them up-stairs. The Queen did not command me to be seated, and as soon as the Duchess made her appearance I left the room. Princess Elizabeth afterwards said, that when Miss Goldsworthy was their sub-governess the Queen never let her sit down when talking to them as children. I said that that was not a case in point, for that I was not a sub-governess, nor was Princess Charlotte a child; that as I was always accustomed to sit in her Majesty’s presence, it was evident she resented my leaving her, but that whatever the Queen chose to do I should never lose the respect and attachment I had for her. I found, however, from general conversation, that the object was to consider me as a sub-governess, and a paragraph of that nature was put in the papers,[[122]] which I insisted on Sir H. Halford mentioning to the Prince, and getting it contradicted in the same paper, which was done—the Prince remarking they might as well call me Lord Chancellor.[[123]]
On the 1st of February we went to dine with the Princess of Wales at Kensington Palace, and I was presented to her. She would not let me kiss her hand, but embraced me. She was civil, but rather cool, to the Duchess of Leeds. The Duke of Brunswick[[124]] dined with us. Lady Charlotte Campbell and Miss Hayman were in waiting, and Lady Carnarvon also dined. The Duke of Kent’s band was in attendance. The Duke of Brunswick appeared grave and reserved, but very civil. The Princess talked much to me about Princess Charlotte, seemed anxious for her welfare, and expressed great satisfaction at my appointment.
On the 3rd of February, Princess Charlotte was invited to dine at the Duke of York’s, to meet the Queen and Princesses, and I was asked for the evening, with the very fair excuse that the dining-room was so small that it would not hold even the Princesses’ or Duchess’s ladies. I dined at Lord Moira’s, who, with Lady Loudon, was also asked to the evening party. The apartments were, indeed, all very small, and very unfit for a royal Duke or Commander-in-Chief. Lady Anne Cullen Smith (sister of Lord Wellesley, and formerly married to a brother of Lord Southampton, by whom she has two daughters, the Miss Fitzroys) was the Duchess’s only lady in waiting. Her manners were elegant, and her daughters accomplished and agreeable. I had seen them one morning at Warwick House, for they had formed an intimacy with Princess Charlotte at Oatlands.[[125]] The Prince, when he came up to shake hands with me, whispered to me that he supposed Mary had said something to me which I would remember. I asked Princess Mary, in the course of the evening, what the Prince meant, and she answered, “Oh, nothing; he is only afraid lest Charlotte should like the Duke of Gloucester; and there is no danger. He wanted me to set you on your guard.”[[126]]
While I was talking to the Miss Fitzroys and others, the Chancellor[[127]] came up to me, and began to shake me violently by the hand, which rather surprised me, as we had never been introduced to each other. He was not quite sober. He said he hoped I did not believe all the nonsense about his ill-treatment of Princess Charlotte, of which no doubt I had heard a lamentable story; and was going on, when I stopped him by saying that Princess Charlotte had not conversed with me at all on the subject, and that if any one had mentioned it to me it was the Queen. Not content with this, he came up to me in the same manner after the Royal Family had gone down to supper, and entered again on the subject, in a very confused tone. I put him off by saying that really it was not my business to interfere in the Princess Charlotte’s concerns, that I had only the honour of attending her, and that the Duchess of Leeds was the person who had the responsibility. This I said in a good-humoured way, and got rid of him at last.
On the 4th I went with Princess Charlotte to the Duke of Cumberland’s apartments at St. James’s, where she was to meet the Queen and Princesses, previous to the drawing-room, to which she was not to go. I left her there, and went to the drawing-room.[[128]] As soon as I had been seen by the Queen, for I was not spoken to, I returned to her Royal Highness, who in the mean while was left with the Duchess of Leeds, and she took her turn of going into the drawing-room. Princess Charlotte was greatly hurt by being thus treated as a child, but made no complaints, and was good natured with her family.
She met them that day at dinner at the Duke of Cambridge’s, and I was asked for the evening party there. His house,[[129]] though not very large, is handsome and comfortable. There was a little music in the evening, and everything passed in tolerable good humour. Next day, the 5th, we dined quietly tête-à-tête to prepare for the ball in the evening. Princess Charlotte’s spirits were worn out with anxiety respecting her mother. She had heard that her visits at Kensington were to be less frequent in future, and her mind was harassed by various things. She felt nervous when the hour of dressing approached, but came out looking beautiful, and with proper self-possession. Her dress was white and silver, and she wore feathers for the first time. The Duchess and I[[130]] were in white and gold. When we arrived at Carlton House, her Royal Highness, with the Duchess of Leeds, went into the room where the Royal Family were assembled, and I joined the Princess’s and Princess Sophia of Gloucester’s ladies till the company was assembled, when we all entered the ball-room.
The state apartments at Carlton House were certainly magnificent, and everything well regulated. They were well lighted, and were superior to anything I had seen in England; but the classical taste and sober dignity of Italy, with the grandeur of its spacious habitations, eclipse in my mind all I have seen elsewhere, and render Carlton House nothing more than a nobleman’s dwelling expensively furnished. The best part of the fête appeared to me the respect paid to the Royal Family of France. Indeed, the Regent, ever since he came into power, has invariably shown the most independent and honourable feeling. Princess Mary opened the ball, and danced with the Duke d’Angoulême. Princess Charlotte stood next her with the Duke of Clarence.[[131]] The dresses were splendid, and the supper, in the apartments below, all that it should be. The Queen seemed to enjoy it, and retired, apparently unfatigued, at five or six in the morning.
That day Princess Charlotte dined at Carlton House, and I went in the evening. I found her looking very unhappy, and she told me there was something going on to vex her—that she had overheard a conversation about the Duchess of York, who had invited herself to dine with her on the following day—and that she was sure something had gone wrong. I comforted her as well as I could; but I soon found from Princess Mary that she was blamed for “having invited” the Duchess, and asked whether she chose to have Lady Anne and the Miss Fitzroys to meet her. Princess Mary said that it was wrong to do this without consulting the Duchess of Leeds, and also that the Duchess of York did not wish to meet Lady Anne, for that, though she was her lady, she did not like her, and that it would be better to get rid of this dinner party.
The Prince took me aside this evening, and talked to me for a long while against the Princess of Wales, and the little regard she had shown for Princess Charlotte when a child, and how by her negligence there was a mark of the small-pox on Princess Charlotte’s nose, having left her hands at liberty; whereas he used continually to watch beside her cradle. He said very severe things of the Princess of Wales in every way, and even accused her of threatening to declare that Princess Charlotte was not his daughter. I really had not remarked this little blemish on the smooth and beautiful skin of my young Princess, and should have had great difficulty in forbearing to smile at the seriousness with which that important misfortune was mentioned, if I had not been horrified by the rest of the conversation. The Prince also warned me against Lady Jersey, whom he had observed talking to Princess Charlotte the night before at the ball, and said he did not choose she should be too intimate at Warwick House, but did not give any particular reasons for it.
All this appeared to me the more extraordinary, as really the Regent can speak well, rationally, and with eloquence—or, at least, with great plausibility. What could I think of such a mixture of serious and frivolous complaint, when I might have expected discrimination of character to guide me in what advice I was to give the Princess—views for the future and regulations for the present, which the important station she was one day to fill, and the very delicate situation in which she was placed for the time present, seemed to render essentially requisite? I really knew not what to answer, and could only assent to his wishes or remarks in general terms.