The Prince came, and to the Lower Lodge. Princess Charlotte was desirous that I should see him first, and I met him on the stairs. He at first looked displeased, but I entered into an explanation with him on the former grievances, and cleared up the falsehoods. I heard what he chose to say on the present subject with proper respect, and he became very good-humoured towards me; but when Princess Charlotte came in, although he did not raise his voice, and said he would be very calm and very affectionate, he was certainly as bitter as possible on the Duke of Gloucester, and not a little so to Princess Charlotte. He positively refused giving his consent to this union, but added, what I thought most important, that so far from ever wishing to control her inclinations, he would not even urge her to comply with any proposals by recommendatory means. He said he was himself too severe a sufferer to wish any other person, and especially a child of his own, to know the misery of an ill-assorted marriage; that he would invite over many of the Princes of the Continent (for that a subject of England she could not marry), and she might then have her choice; that with respect to the hereditary Prince of Orange, whom she seemed to apprehend being forced on her, he would not bring him to Frogmore on the Duke of York’s birthday, that she might not think he meant to recommend him (he took occasion, however, to praise him several times during this visit); and he ended by saying that her happiness and her honour were the wishes nearest to his heart.
When he took leave of her, and remained with me, he expressed great displeasure, and hinted a suspicion of her doing all this as a blind, and of her being attached to the Duke of Devonshire. I defended her on that point, but said that I regretted her having proposed the marriage with the Duke of Gloucester in the manner she had done, and that I wished to prevent her having such long conferences with Sir Henry, farther than medical advice might render them necessary, as I was mindful of his Royal Highness’s injunction of not leaving her alone with gentlemen; an injunction which my own sense of propriety rendered unnecessary. The Prince said that Sir Henry was the friend of the family, and that he had not the slightest objection to her being left alone with him; on the contrary, he had often sent messages by him.
I could never discover who had advised Princess Charlotte to this step, but I am convinced it was brought on by Princess Mary and Sir Henry urging the necessity of her marrying. I was very uneasy about it, but I wished to impress on her mind that she had so far gained a great point in having the Prince’s promise that he would never force her inclinations, and that she could always refer to this promise in case of necessity. But the fact was, they were using every means to bring about a marriage with the Prince of Orange, without choosing to appear in it, or to give her the merit of consenting from a feeling of duty. Underhand means of all sorts were put in practice, and Lady Anne Smith and her daughters, while staying at Oatlands, came over to make a visit, and warmly advocated the cause.
About this time her Royal Highness, by the advice of Miss Mercer, with whom she constantly communicated, entered into another correspondence, which promised great utility. Politics were not concerned in it, and nothing could be more correct than the advice given with respect to her filial duty, as well as other points of her conduct. To this friend she communicated what had passed with her father, and the advice was, if possible, to comply with his wishes with regard to the Prince of Orange, but if resolved to marry the Duke of Gloucester, to wait patiently until the age of twenty-one, when more efficacious measures might be pursued. This adviser professed himself the friend of the Duke, but certainly was fair and impartial in the manner in which he wrote.
As she was to be eighteen on her next birthday, she was very anxious about the establishment which she doubted not then to obtain, and as it evidently appeared to me, from her conversation, that she had been advised to have none but people of high rank about her, and young people, I thought it necessary to write her the following letter, which I gave into her own hand, expressing my wish to leave her entirely at liberty with respect to myself.
MISS KNIGHT TO THE PRINCESS CHARLOTTE.
My dearest Madam,—There is a subject on which I have for some time wished to speak to your Royal Highness, but finding that my feelings will not allow me to mention it without being completely overcome, I think it best to trouble you with a few lines of explanation, as I am sensible it is not right to defer it longer.
The time for your Royal Highness having a new establishment is rapidly approaching, and I know your way of thinking is not only so just and honourable, but also so kind and considerate, that you may perhaps feel embarrassed with respect to me. I therefore wish that you should consider yourself perfectly at liberty.
It is needless to repeat what passed when I entered into the service of your Royal Highness. Had I not been assured that it was your particular desire, I should not have yielded to the Prince’s entreaties. I thought I saw a noble disposition misunderstood, great talents unperceived or discouraged, and strong feelings so harassed as to be rendered dangerous to their possessor. I flattered myself that I might at least be a negative comfort, and by perhaps soothing, certainly not tormenting, give scope for the display of those amiable and exalted qualities which vexation and contradiction might tarnish. Thus far I trust I may have succeeded; and I shall therefore retire in some measure satisfied with what I have done, and with the most ardent and fervent prayers for the happiness of my ever-dear Royal mistress. I am no longer young; my spirits have been broken by the vicissitudes and sorrows of a life of disappointments. I have no connexions, and few friends left who can promote the interests of your Royal Highness, or give support to me in the slippery path which I have already found so difficult to tread. It is therefore perhaps better, both for your Royal Highness and myself, that I should retire, even if you wished me to remain, and also that, when I retire, I should withdraw myself entirely. The pang will be dreadful when I am obliged to leave you; for the romance of my life has been attachment, and I feel for your Royal Highness an interest of which, after various afflictions I had experienced, I no longer thought myself capable; that interest I shall still feel, but it will occasion me less pain at a distance than were I to see you only now and then, after having passed so many months constantly in your society.
I trust I need not add that every confidential communication with which you have been pleased to honour me shall be sacred, and that the very few friends with whom I shall associate for the remainder of my life will hear nothing from me but expressions of gratitude for your goodness.