Some one having remarked to Talleyrand, when he was living on his estate in banishment from the Court during the later years of Bonaparte’s reign, that he must find the life he led “bien monotone,” the Prince replied: “Monsieur, le monotone fut le berceau de la vie.”
Sir Edward Sugden, a celebrated lawyer who has lately come into Parliament, having heard that he had been turned into ridicule for being the son of a hairdresser, made answer: “So I am, and I am come into the House to give a dressing to the Whigs.”
Sir Walter Scott told Mr. Howard, of Corby, that the only verses David Hume ever wrote were made at an inn in that neighbourhood. They were as follows:
Chickens in eggs at breakfast sprawl;
Godless boys God’s glory squall;
Scotchmen’s heads adorn the wall;
Corby’s walks atone for all.
These lines were probably written soon after the affair of ’45, and I suppose the “Scotchmen’s heads” were exposed on the walls of Carlisle.
Mr. Howard was one day at a great dinner party which the late Duke of Norfolk gave to several of his neighbours. He sat at the bottom of the table, the Duke being at the head, and one of the gentlemen who sat near the Duke called out to him and said: “Mr. Howard, will you drink a glass of wine with me? There was a connexion between our families.” “With a great deal of pleasure, sir,” replied Mr. H., “though I don’t know exactly what the connexion is; but in this county there have been several marriages between neighbours.” “Why, sir,” resumed the gentleman, “your ancestor, Lord William Howard, hung up twenty-three out of twenty-seven of my family, and you must own that was a tie.” This reminded me of an anecdote I heard at Brighton. General Dalrymple, who was between ninety and a hundred years of age, was introduced by the King to Lord Errol as an old friend. “Ah! my Lord,” said the General, “the last of your family I have seen was Lord Kilmarnock’s head on Temple-bar.”
An English lady at Paris, who was obliged to have an arm taken off, six months afterwards married the surgeon who performed the operation. On which a French gentleman remarked “Elle lui a donné la main pour lui avoir coupé le bras.”