“‘IF YOU PLEASE, SIR,’ SAID THE WAITER, ‘IF YOU WALK A FEW STEPS I CAN TELL MORE DEFINITELY.’”
“Well, sir,” he said, “if you will let me advise, I would advise a certain brandy we have. Of that brandy, sir, a little goes a long way. I have seen it work, sir, and I can assure you that a small quantity of that will make you stagger and reel to your heart’s content.”
“Very well,” I said, “you may bring me some. I suppose a quart would be enough.”
“I beg your pardon, sir,” he said, “but have you ever tried the brandy of which I speak?”
“I have not,” I said.
“Then, sir,” said the waiter apologetically, “unless you are a very heavy drinker I would not advise a quart of that brandy. A quart of that brandy, sir, would, if I may so speak, lay you out flat. You would not reel and stagger, sir. You would be paralyzed stiff, sir, dead to the world.”
I thanked the waiter warmly.
“You observe,” I said, “that I am not used to this sort of thing, and I appreciate the interest you are taking. I am inclined to leave the matter entirely in your hands. I may not know when I have had exactly the right quantity, but you, with your larger experience, will know, sir.”
“Yes, sir. And I think the lady will know, sir,” said the waiter.