We were all sitting under our apple tree, out in the yard, and it was a good thing we were not sitting on a roof, because I would have fell off and killed myself, I was so surprised.

“Aw! When was you married?” I said.

“That time I went to Derlingport to visit my uncle,” Swatty said.

“Aw! Who did you marry?”

“A girl,” he said.

“Well, if you married a girl why didn't you ever tell us about it before?”

“Garsh! I can't remember everything that happened when I was in Derlingport, can I? Mebbe I forgot I was married.”

“Aw, pshaw!” I said. “What did you want to go and get married for, Swatty?”

“Well, I couldn't help it, could I?” he asked.

“You don't think I'd go and get married if I could help it, do you? My—my uncle made me.”