E—nick—a—deena—ena—wah!
E—nick—a—deena—hah! hah! hah!
Wishing Box! Wishing box! Ah!
Abner.—A college education is an excellent thing but I prefer life in the great mercantile world, and what could be more stimulating to health, happiness and psychological contentment than the dissemination of useful articles conducive to cheerfulness and cleanliness which when once tried, always used. Let me call you attention to these novelties especially appropriate and appreciated as Christmas gifts for mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, wives, daughters, sweethearts, and others. Lilac Lotion for Lovely Ladies, twenty-five cents per bottle, this trifling sum including not only the lotion itself but bottle, cork, wrapping paper, high grade string and advertising matter which is both interesting and instructive.
(Exhibits bottle.)
Edith.—O who wants your Lilac Lotion for Lovely Ladies?
Abner.—Correct, miss, absolutely, unreservedly and undoubtedly correct, for there are many ladies who are not lovely. For them I have (producing a bottle) Helps for the Homely, First Aid to the Fat, and the Fiji Freckle-Killer.
Inventor (pointing to Abner).—You see, ladies and gentlemen, the complete change which my wishing box has wrought. He’s even lost his whistle.
Susan.—Somehow I don’t think Abner is specially improved.