Ted. Now, Mamma's. "Half a dozen new bibs." Bibs! They don't belong on her list. She can't have that! "Little rocking-chair." Now, if she has a little rocking-chair, there won't be any room for us on the arms of it,—that wouldn't do at all. "A rose vase." All her vases are broken now, and if she had another, Maggie'd just smash it, too, so what's the use in giving it to her? [Turns to list.] What's all this at the bottom? "Most of all, five good boys and girls to live with till next Christmas"! Jiminy Christopher, how can she want five more?
Brownie [significantly]. She didn't say "more."
Ted [claps his hand over his mouth]. Oh!... P'r'aps she didn't mean that! P'r'aps she meant us! [Stares thoughtfully before him.]
Brownie. Hurry up! Look at this one.
Ted. That's Kitty's. Let's see. "A boy doll and a girl doll." Now, don't you think Kitty's altogether too big for dolls? I suppose little girls must have dolls, but they're terribly silly things. "Half a Dozen Girls." That's nothing but an old girl's book. Give her stories about fights and Indians and bears to read to us. "Paper dolls." There it is again. "Napkin ring." Now, that's the only sensible thing she's got down.... This one's mine. I won't stop to read that, because I only put down the things I've got to have. Let's see if I can read Robin's. [Puzzles over it.]
Brownie [reading Ted's list]. "Boxing-gloves. Baseball. Roller-coaster. Skates. Boots. Marbles."
Ted. Oh, now I see what it is. "Rubber boots." He doesn't need those. I'm going to have some new ones, and my others aren't much too big for him. "Marbles." He's got more marbles now 'n' any boy I know. "Top. Kite"—this isn't the time of year for those things. Never mind, I'll tell you what he wants in a minute. Now, Margie. "Dolls" again. She's got three dozen if she's got one! "Music-box." Pshaw! they just go and smash right away. "Paints." She'd paint up all the chairs and tables in the house and nobody would like it a bit. "Little stove"—that might be nice,—but I'm afraid she'd burn herself. You see, she hasn't got anything good on her list, either. Now, Rose comes last of all. [Looks at Rose's list a moment.] Well, I guess Rosebud ought to have everything she's asked for. [Turns to Brownie, and the two walk away from the fire.] Now, didn't I tell you how it was? People want such silly things! Now, I'll tell you what to bring instead. [Puts his arm across Brownie's shoulder, and whispers in his ear, pointing to one stocking after another.] ... Now, I guess that's all. It was awfully good of you to let me help, and I know they'll all be pleased. [Walks around table, sits with his back to audience. Stretches his arms above his head, and yawns aloud.] I really believe I could go to sleep now. [Drops his head on his hands. Brownie waves his wand above Ted, who gradually sinks down, head on arms, fast asleep.]
Brownie. Now I guess he's in for a good night's sleep. Little scamp! He ought to have some kind of a trick played on him, but Santa Claus forbids any pranks on Christmas Eve. [Crosses to fireplace.] What shall I do about these stockings, anyway? These poor children are going to be dreadfully disappointed to-morrow if I keep my promise to that scallywag, Ted. Perhaps I'd better telephone Santa Claus about it. [Takes up the toe of a stocking and speaks through it, moving it from mouth to ear as he speaks or listens.] Hello! Hello, there! North Pole! Please connect me with Santa Claus.... Hello, is that you, Santa? I want to consult you about some doubtful business.... Yes, sir, Mr. Bird's house.... His boy is making a dreadful mess with these stockings.... He wants them all filled with presents for himself.... What's that you say? Let him try it?... Be a good lesson for him?... All right, sir! Thank you. Any trouble with icebergs? No?... That's good.... All right, good-by! [Drops stocking.] Well, I must see it through, then, I suppose. [Takes down the stockings and carries them into the chimney two at a time. When the last is carried out, he brings them back in the same order, filled. To avoid delay, a double set is prepared, the Brownie leaving the empty ones and bringing the full ones instead.] Well, he's pretty generous to himself, anyway. And he thinks it's all for their good! [Walks over and stands looking at Ted.] I'll just say good-night to you, now, young man.... No! before I go, I believe I'll give you a few Christmas dreams. [Waves his wand and walks slowly to back of stage. Scene darkened, lights thrown on secondary stage, where the curtains part and reveal tableaux as the Brownie's song calls for them.[16] He stands at back, unseen. Raise curtain before the end of verse describing picture.]
BROWNIE'S SONG
Air: "Fly, Little Birds."[17]