With a great effort Fetzer raised her eyes. She was not thinking of Stephen or of herself, but with deep unselfish concern of Ellen. It was hideous to want what one could not have!
"I should think she'd like to be with young people," she said with a little gasp.
Stephen had taken up his long stride; he stopped again and looked down. Rarely, and very rarely, jealousy of Ellen's young companions troubled him.
"She likes to be here!" he said sharply. "She—" Then he stopped short. Fetzer was still smoothing the seam of her dress. He was glad that he had not met her glance—he did not wish to betray himself. For an instant and only an instant he hated her, then he blushed for himself—good, devoted, innocent, unsuspicious Fetzer could have no doubts of him! "I may not be here all the vacation, but that makes no difference in her coming."
Fetzer lifted her tray and bade him good-night, and when she had put all the things neatly away, went up the stairs to her room and sat down at the window. She had not met his eye, but for the first time she had heard his voice speaking to her sharply. It had the effect of light as well as sound; dark corners were suddenly illuminated. There were his frequent letters, there were the automobile rides, there was his present eagerness. She had not seen his face when he greeted Ellen; who knew what his look had expressed?
"He's all alone," she said in an awed voice after a long time. "It's very, very hard to be alone.... He's had all along from the beginning a hard time.... It was a wonder that he stood it.... He deserved better in this world.... But this cannot be!" She spoke with childish simplicity. "This would be wrong!"
The next Sunday evening she carried Stephen his supper and sat down and gave him the outline of the sermon.
"It was on the subject of always having enough light to live by and it not making anything out if we have nothing else but that," she explained in her native idiom. The sermon, if one could judge by her pale cheeks, had moved her.
She inquired about Hilda.
"I so often think of her sitting down there when there is all this here."