156.* That at creation there was implanted in the man and the woman an inclination and also a faculty of conjunction as into a one, and that this inclination and this faculty are still in man and woman, is evident from the book of creation, and at the same time from the Lord's words. In the book of creation, called GENESIS, it is written, "Jehovah God builded the rib, which he had taken from the man, into a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man; for this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh," chap. ii. 22-24. The Lord also says in Matthew, "Have ye not read, that he that made them from the beginning, made them a male and a female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH? WHEREFORE THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE FLESH," chap. xix. 4-6. From this it is evident, that the woman was created out of the man (vir), and that each has an inclination and faculty to reunite themselves into a one. That such reunion means into one man (homo), is also evident from the book of creation, where both together are called man (homo); for it is written, "In the day that God created man (homo), he created them a male and a female, and called their name Man (homo)," chap. v. 2. It is there written, he called their name Adam; but Adam and man are one expression in the Hebrew tongue: moreover, both together are called man in the same book, chap. i. 27; chap. iii. 22-24. One flesh also signifies one man; as is evident from the passages in the Word where mention is made of all flesh, which signifies every man, as Gen. chap. vi. 12, 13, 17, 19; Isaiah xl. 5, 6; chap. xlix. 26; chap. lxvi. 16, 23, 24; Jer. xxv. 31; chap, xxxii. 27; chap. xlv. 5; Ezek. xx. 48; chap. xxi. 4, 5; and other passages. But what is meant by the man's rib, which was builded into a woman; what by the flesh, which was closed up in the place thereof, and thus what by bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and what by a father and a mother, whom a man (vir) shall leave after marriage; and what by cleaving to a wife, has been shewn in the ARCANA COELESTIA; in which work the two books, Genesis and Exodus, are explained as to the spiritual sense. It is there proved that a rib does not mean a rib,—nor flesh, flesh,—nor a bone, a bone,—nor cleaving to, cleaving to; but that they signify spiritual things, which correspond thereto, and consequently are signified thereby. That spiritual things are understood, which from two make one man (homo), is evident from this consideration, that conjugial love conjoins them, and this love is spiritual. That the love of the man's wisdom is transferred into the wife, has been occasionally observed above, and will be more fully proved in the following sections: at this time it is not allowable to digress from the subject proposed, which is concerning the conjunction of two married partners into one flesh by a union of souls and minds. This union we will elucidate by treating of it in the following order. I. From creation there is implanted in each sex a faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be conjoined together as it were into a one. II. Conjugial love conjoins two souls, and thence two minds into a one. III. The will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man conjoins itself with the will of the wife. IV. The inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife; but is inconstant and alternate with the man. V. Conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom. VI. This conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage; and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity. VII. The conjunction of the wife with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but with this moral wisdom from without. VIII. For the sake of this conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of the husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them. IX. Wives conceal this perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands, for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together, and the happiness of life may he secured. X. This perception is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife. XI. The wife, from a principle of love, is continually thinking about the man's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself: it is otherwise with the man. XII. The wife conjoins herself to the man, by applications to the desires of his will. XIII. The wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him. XIV. The wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their mutual spiritual love. XV. Thus the wife receives in herself the image of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of, his affections. XVI. There are duties proper to the husband, and others proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright. XVII. These duties, also, according to mutual aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time constitute one house. XVIII. Married partners, according to these conjunctions, become one man (homo) more and more. XIX. Those who are principled in love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, and as it were one flesh. XX. Love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavor towards conjunction in the bosoms and thence in the body. XXI. The states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do very good to each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness, satisfaction, delight, and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of these is derived heavenly felicity. XXII. These things can only exist in the marriage of one man with one wife. We proceed now to the explanation of these articles.
157. I. FROM CREATION THERE IS IMPLANTED IN EACH SEX A FACULTY AND INCLINATION, WHEREBY THEY ARE ABLE AND WILLING TO BE JOINED TOGETHER, AS IT WERE INTO A ONE. That the woman was taken out of the man, was shewn just above from the book of creation; hence it follows, that there is in each sex a faculty and inclination to join themselves together into a one; for that which is taken out of anything, derives and retains its constituent principle, from the principle proper to the thing whence it was taken; and as this derived principle is of a similar nature with that from which it was derived, it seeks after a reunion; and when it is reunited, it is as in itself when it is in that from whence it came, and vice versa. That there is a faculty of conjunction of the one sex with the other, or that they are capable of being united, is universally allowed; and also that there is an inclination to join themselves the one with the other; for experience supplies sufficient confirmation in both cases.
158. II. CONJUGIAL LOVE CONJOINS TWO SOULS, AND THENCE TWO MINDS, INTO A ONE. Every man consists of a soul, a mind, and a body. The soul is his inmost, the mind his middle, and the body his ultimate constituent. As the soul is a man's inmost principle, it is, from its origin, celestial; as the mind is his middle principle, it is, from its origin, spiritual; and as the body is his ultimate principle, it is, from its origin, natural. Those things, which, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual, are not in space, but in the appearance of space. This also is well known in the word; therefore it is said, that neither extension nor place can be predicated of spiritual things. Since therefore spaces are appearances, distances also and presences are appearances. That the appearances of distances and presences in the spiritual world are according to proximities, relationships, and affinities of love, has been frequently pointed out and confirmed in small treatises respecting that world. These observations are made, in order that it may be known that the souls and minds of men are not in space like their bodies; because the former, as was said above, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual; and as they are not in space, they may be joined together as into a one, although their bodies at the same time are not so joined. This is the case especially with married partners, who love each other intimately: but as the woman is from the man, and this conjunction is a species of reunion, it may be seen from reason, that it is not a conjunction into a one, but an adjunction, close and near according to the love, and approaching to contact with those who are principled in love truly conjugial. This adjunction may be called spiritual dwelling together; which takes place with married partners who love each other tenderly, however distant their bodies may be from each other. Many experimental proofs exist, even in the natural world, in confirmation of these observations. Hence it is evident, that conjugial love conjoins two souls and minds into a one.
159. III. THE WILL OF THE WIFE CONJOINS ITSELF WITH THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE MAN, AND THENCE THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE MAN WITH THE WILL OF THE WIFE. The reason of this is, because the male is born to become understanding, and the female to become will, loving the understanding of the male; from which consideration it follows, that conjugial conjunction is that of the will of the wife with the understanding of the man, and the reciprocal conjunction of the understanding of the man with the will of the wife. Every one sees that the conjunction of the understanding and the will is of the most intimate kind; and that it is such, that the one faculty can enter into the other, and be delighted from and in the conjunction.
160. IV. THE INCLINATION TO UNITE THE MAN TO HERSELF IS CONSTANT AND PERPETUAL WITH THE WIFE, BUT INCONSTANT AND ALTERNATE WITH THE MAN. The reason of this is, because love cannot do otherwise than love and unite itself, in order that it may be loved in return, this being its very essence and life; and women are born loves; whereas men, with whom they unite themselves in order that they may be loved in return, are receptions. Moreover love is continually efficient; being like heat, flame, and fire, which perish if their efficiency is checked. Hence the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife: but a similar inclination does not operate with the man towards the wife, because the man is not love, but only a recipient of love; and as a state of reception is absent or present according to intruding cares, and to the varying presence or absence of heat in the mind, as derived from various causes, and also according to the increase and decrease of the bodily powers, which do not return regularly and at stated periods, it follows, that the inclination to conjunction is inconstant and alternate with men.
161. V. CONJUNCTION IS INSPIRED INTO THE MAN FROM THE WIFE ACCORDING TO HER LOVE, AND IS RECEIVED BY THE MAN ACCORDING TO HIS WISDOM. That love and consequent conjunction is inspired into the man by the wife, is at this day concealed from the men; yea, it is universally denied by them; because wives insinuate that the men alone love, and that they themselves receive; or that the men are loves, and themselves obediences: they rejoice also in heart when the men believe it to be so. There are several reasons why they endeavour to persuade the men of this, which are all grounded in their prudence and circumspection; respecting which, something shall be said in a future part of this work, particularly in the chapter [ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESS, SEPARATIONS, AND DIVORCES BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS]. The reason why men receive from their wives the inspiration or insinuation of love, is, because nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the sex, is with the men, but only with wives and females. That this is the case, has been clearly shewn me in the spiritual world. I was once engaged in conversation there on this subject; and the men, in consequence of a persuasion infused from their wives, insisted that they loved and not the wives; but that the wives received love from them. In order to settle the dispute respecting this arcanum, all the females, married and unmarried, were withdrawn from the men, and at the same time the sphere of the love of the sex was removed with them. On the removal of this sphere, the men were reduced to a very unusual state, such as they had never before perceived, at which they greatly complained. Then, while they were in this state, the females were brought to them, and the wives to the husbands; and both the wives and the other females addressed them in the tenderest and most engaging manner; but they were cold to their tenderness, and turned away, and said one to another, "What is all this? what is a female?" And when some of the women said that they were their wives, they replied, "What is a wife? we do not know you." But when the wives began to be grieved at this absolutely cold indifference of the men, and some of them to shed tears, the sphere of the love of the female sex, and the conjugial sphere, which had for a time been withdrawn from the men, was restored; and then the men instantly returned into their former state, the lovers of marriage into their state, and the lovers of the sex into theirs. Thus the men were convinced, that nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the sex, resides with them, but only with the wives and females. Nevertheless, the wives afterwards from their prudence induced the men to believe, that love resides with the men, and that some small spark of it may pass from them into the wives. This experimental evidence is here adduced, in order that it may be known, that wives are loves and men recipients. That men are recipients according to their wisdom, especially according to this wisdom grounded in religion, that the wife only is to be loved, is evident from this consideration, that so long as the wife only is loved, the love is concentrated; and because it is also ennobled, it remains in its strength, and is fixed and permanent; and that in any other case it would be as when wheat from the granary is cast to the dogs, whereby there is scarcity at home.