243. VIII. OF INTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE FOURTH IS, THE FALSITY OF THE RELIGION. This is, because falsity in spiritual things either takes away religion or defiles it. It takes it from those with whom genuine truths are falsified; it defiles it, where there are indeed falsities, but not genuine truths, which therefore could not be falsified. In the latter case there may be imputed goods with which those falses may be conjoined by applications from the Lord; for these falses are like various discordant tones, which by artful arrangements and combinations are brought into harmony, and communicate to harmony its agreeableness: in this case some conjugial love is communicable; but with those who have falsified with themselves the genuine truths of the church, it is not communicable. The prevailing ignorance concerning love truly conjugial, or a negative doubting respecting the possibility of the existence of such love, is from persons of the latter description; and from the same source also comes the wild imagination, in the minds of the generality, that adulteries are not evils in a religious point of view.
244. IX. WITH MANY, THE ABOVE-MENTIONED ARE CAUSES OF INTERNAL COLD, BUT NOT AT THE SAME TIME OF EXTERNAL. If the causes above pointed out and confirmed, which are the causes of internal cold, produced similar external cold, as many separations would ensue as there are cases of internal cold, which are as many as there are marriages of those who are in a false or a different religion, or in no religion; respecting whom we have already treated; and yet it is well-known, that many such live together as if they mutually loved and were friendly to each other: but whence this originates, with those who are in internal cold, will be shewn in the following chapter [CONCERNING THE CAUSES OF APPARENT LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, AND FAVOR IN MARRIAGES]. There are several causes which conjoin minds (animos) but still do not conjoin souls; among these are some of those mentioned above, n. [183]; but still cold lies interiorly concealed, and makes itself continually observed and felt. With such married partners the affections depart from each other; but the thoughts, while they come forth into speech and behaviour, for the sake of apparent friendship and favor, are present; therefore such persons know nothing of the pleasantness and delight, and still less of the satisfaction and blessedness of love truly conjugial, accounting them to be little else than fables. These are of the number of those who deduce the origin of conjugial love from the same causes with the nine companies of wise ones assembled from the several kingdoms of Europe; concerning whom see the MEMORABLE RELATION above, n. [103-114].
245. It may be urged as an objection to what has been proved above, that still the soul is propagated from the father although it is not conjoined to the soul of the mother, yea, although cold residing therein causes separation; but the reason why souls or offspring are nevertheless propagated is, because the understanding of the man is not closed, but is capable of being elevated into the light into which the soul is; but the love of his will is not elevated into the heat corresponding to the light there, except by the life, which makes him from natural become spiritual; hence it is, that the soul is still procreated, but, in the descent, while it becomes seed, it is veiled over by such things as belong to his natural love; from this springs hereditary evil. To these considerations I will add an arcanum from heaven, namely, that between the disjoined souls of two persons, especially of married partners, there is effected conjunction in a middle love; otherwise there would be no conception with men (homines). Besides what is here said of conjugial cold, and its place of abode in the supreme region of the mind, see the LAST MEMORABLE RELATION of this chapter, n. [270].
246. X. THERE ARE ALSO SEVERAL EXTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD, THE FIRST OF WHICH IS DISSIMILITUDE OF MINDS AND MANNERS. There are both internal and external similitudes and dissimilitudes. The internal arise from no other source than religion; for religion is implanted in souls, and by them is transmitted from parents to their offspring as the supreme inclination; for the soul of every man derives life from the marriage of good and truth, and from this marriage is the church; and as the church is various and different in the several parts of the world, therefore also the souls of all men are various and different; wherefore internal similitudes and dissimilitudes are from this source, and according to them the conjugial conjunctions of which we have been treating; but external similitudes and dissimilitudes are not of the souls but of minds; by minds (animos) we mean the affections and thence the external inclinations, which are principally insinuated after birth by education, social intercourse, and consequent habits of life; for it is usual to say, I have a mind to do this or that; which indicates an affection and inclination to it. Persuasions conceived respecting this or that kind of life also form those minds; hence come inclinations to enter into marriage even with such as are unsuitable, and likewise to refuse consent to marriage with such as are suitable; but still these marriages, after a certain time of living together, vary according to the similitudes and dissimilitudes contracted hereditarily and also by education; and dissimilitudes induce cold. So likewise dissimilitudes of manners; as for example, an ill-mannered man or woman, joined with a well-bred one; a neat man or woman, joined with a slovenly one; a litigious man or woman, joined with one that is peaceably disposed; in a word, an immoral man or woman, joined with a moral one. Marriages of such dissimilitudes are not unlike the conjunctions of different species of animals with each other, as of sheep and goats, of stags and mules, of turkeys and geese, of sparrows and the nobler kind of birds, yea, as of dogs and cats, which from their dissimilitudes do not consociate with each other, but in the human kind these dissimilitudes are indicated not by faces, but by habits of life; wherefore external colds are from this source.
247. XI. OF EXTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE SECOND IS, THAT CONJUGIAL LOVE IS BELIEVED TO BE THE SAME AS ADULTEROUS LOVE, ONLY THAT THE LATTER IS NOT ALLOWED BY LAW, BUT THE FORMER IS. That this is a source of cold, is obvious to reason, while it is considered that adulterous love is diametrically opposite to conjugial love; wherefore when it is believed that conjugial love is the same as adulterous, they both become alike in idea; and in such case a wife is regarded as a harlot, and marriage as uncleanness; the man himself also is an adulterer, if not in body, still in spirit. That hence ensue contempt, disdain, and aversion, between the man and his woman, and thereby intense cold, is an unavoidable consequence; for nothing stores up in itself conjugial cold more than adulterous love; and as adulterous love also passes into such cold, it may not undeservedly be called essential conjugial cold.
248. XII. OF EXTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE THIRD IS, A STRIVING FOR PRE-EMINENCE BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. This is, because conjugial love principally respects the union of wills, and the freedom of decision thence arising; both which are ejected from the married state by a striving for pre-eminence or superiority; for this divides and tears wills into pieces, and changes the freedom of decision into servitude. During the influence of such striving, the spirit of one of the parties meditates violence against the other; if in such case their minds were laid open and viewed by spiritual sight, they would appear like two boxers engaged in combat, and regarding each other with hatred and favor alternately; with hatred while in the vehemence of striving, and with favor while in the hope of dominion, and while under the influence of lust. After one has obtained the victory over the other, this contention is withdrawn from the externals, and betakes itself into the internals of the mind, and there abides with its restlessness stored up and concealed. Hence cold ensues both to the subdued party or servant, and to the victor or dominant party. The reason why the latter also suffers cold is, because conjugial love no longer exists with them, and the privation of this love is cold; see n. [235]. In the place of conjugial love succeeds heat derived from pre-eminence; but this heat is utterly discordant with conjugial heat, yet it can exteriorly resemble it by means of lust. After a tacit agreement between the parties, it appears as if conjugial love was made friendship; but the difference between conjugial and servile friendship in marriages, is like that between light and shade, between a living fire and an ignis fatuus, yea, like that between a well-conditioned man and one consisting only of bone and skin.